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The tourism industry has been growing significantly at the international lever over the past two decades What are the advantages and disadvantages of this industry

The tourism industry has been growing significantly at the international lever over the past two decades What are the advantages and disadvantages of this industry m8eg8
The tourism industry has been peeking rapidly last years. This type of business is most common for every economic of country country compare to than other business. We can not turn a blind to eye some damage to environment. To put it simply, the more people from others countries enter the country the more diverse cultures enter as will diseases. This poses a great threat to the loss national values. However air and transport traffic will increase and this will harm the environment. On another side there are a lot of pollution in crowded sites. The number of charlatans and thieves may grow. Foreigners coming to city come for different purposes. It is fact that tourism industry will enriches and develop the nation and state. The growing number of foreigners in the state will increase the demand for hotels and places of entertainment venues Which lead to grow in jobs. On the one hand tourists interesting at historical sites of the state and national handicrafts by this reason locals produce national handicrafts, while also making a great contribution to the development of national arts and culture. For instance, every year in may Bukhara invites tourists to a fair called Silk and Spices. This fair will be of great benefit to the city and the people which the city will be known to the world. One more remarkable thing that the most mesmerize country in the world Dubai has developed not only its own population but also the unemployed of other countries due to the development of tourism. Just as there are downsides in all areas, there are downsides to tourism but the enrichment of the country and the people is more important
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry has been peeking
rapidly
last years. This type of business is most common for every economic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
compare to than other business. We can not turn a blind to eye
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damage to environment. To put it
simply
, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the more diverse cultures enter as will diseases. This poses a great threat to the loss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
values.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
air and transport traffic will increase and this will harm the environment. On another side there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pollution in crowded sites. The number of charlatans and thieves may grow. Foreigners coming to city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes. It is fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "enrich"
enriches
and develop the nation and state. The growing number of foreigners in the state will increase the demand for hotels and places of entertainment venues Which lead to grow in jobs. On the one hand tourists interesting at historical sites of the state and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
handicrafts by this reason locals produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
handicrafts, while
also
making a great contribution to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
arts and culture.
For instance
, every year in
The month "May" needs to be capitalized.
may
Bukhara invites tourists to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
called Silk and Spices. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
will be of great benefit to the city and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which the city will
be known
to the world. One more remarkable thing that the most mesmerize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world Dubai has developed not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the unemployed of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as there are downsides in all areas, there are downsides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the enrichment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
more
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
important
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IELTS essay The tourism industry has been growing significantly at the international lever over the past two decades What are the advantages and disadvantages of this industry

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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