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Holidays in different way

Holidays in different way 2x2oJ
Everyone of us need to take rest from our work and stress of life between every period have to take 5 to 7 days can take break. The holiday for students that have at the end of every year help the family to have good vibes to travel and enjoy the time such as watching good movie, travel to somewhere, take a picnic with friends and barbecue. Specially the travel can change a lot and see how we have different area can enjoy it with different way, meet different people and seeing their traditional and culture, Also we can try many types of food in that city Moreover the holiday help to back with enough energy to complete the work and the stress of life
Did you mean "every one"?
Everyone
of us need to take rest from our work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of life between every period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take 5 to 7 days can take break.

The holiday for students that have at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of every year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the family to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
vibes to travel and enjoy the time such as watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
movie, travel to somewhere, take a picnic with friends and barbecue.

Specially
the travel can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a lot and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
area can enjoy it with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and seeing their traditional and culture,
Also
we can try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of food in that city

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the holiday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to back with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy to complete the work and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of life

IELTS essay Holidays in different way

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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