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The tourism industry has been growing significantly at the international level over the past two decades. Does this have advantages or disadvantages?

The tourism industry has been growing significantly at the international level over the past two decades. Does this have advantages or disadvantages? a8WYX
It can not be denied that the economy of tourism is more and more developed compared to the past two years. In my opinion, this is a good development as many factors contribute to it. As people have more stress in this growing era, they want to visit new places and countries to get away from pressure. So, the tourism industries are broader than before, which means most business owners invested in this field as tourism has become an important sector. Some people argue that too many emergences of visiting companies are untrusted, and they make the nature and historical places look cheaper. For example, as one agency and another are comparing, they might reduce the prices to get the destinations. And as a consequence, that one place may have many visitors which exceed the proper numbers, and that can cause environmental pollution. Moreover, it can cause negative effects on the residents’ day-to-day lives, and can even cause serious issues such as losing a child. Nonetheless, there are more positive impacts than negative ones. In the metropolis, as cities themselves are attractive to businesses, many foreign-based tourism companies are opening in there. And this can create jobs opportunities for unemployment. For example, they can support the recently graduated students by giving paid internships in their companies, and also can make the cities modern in an implicit way. In addition, tourists can bring money not only to the country but also can make the local people rich. To cite an example, if there is a place that is not well-known, and the location also is tourist’s attraction, an agency can do its job well, and have the power to make that place thrive. As a result, the locals can boost the area and surround by the money they get from the tourist, such as roads and transportation infrastructures. In conclusion, growing a particular industry can have pros and cons. The governments also have the responsibilities to not occur environmental damages and maintain cultural things. As I stated above, these aspects show that industries like tourism have advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.
It can not
be denied
that the economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is more and more developed compared to the past two years. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors contribute to it.

As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in this growing era, they want to visit new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from pressure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industries are broader than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, which means most business owners invested in this field as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
emergences
of visiting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are untrusted
, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the nature and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
look cheaper.
For example
, as one agency and another are comparing, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the prices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the destinations. And as a consequence, that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors which exceed the proper numbers, and that can cause environmental pollution.
Moreover
, it can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the residents’ day-to-day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and can even cause serious issues such as losing a child.

Nonetheless, there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones. In the metropolis, as cities themselves are attractive to businesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are opening in there. And this can create jobs opportunities for unemployment.
For example
, they can support the recently graduated students by giving paid internships in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the cities modern
Consider replacing "in an implicit way" with the adverb for "implicit"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an implicit way
.
In addition
, tourists can bring money not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rich. To cite an example, if there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that is
not well-known, and the location
also
is tourist’s attraction, an agency can do its job well, and have the power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
thrive.
As a result
, the locals can boost the area and surround by the money they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the tourist, such as roads and transportation infrastructures.

In conclusion
, growing a particular industry can have pros and cons. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
also
have the responsibilities to not occur environmental damages and maintain cultural things. As I stated above, these aspects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that industries like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
have advantages that outweigh the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay The tourism industry has been growing significantly at the international level over the past two decades. Does this have advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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