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Which do you prefer as entertainment, watching a film at home or going out to the cinema? Give your reasons.

Which do you prefer as entertainment, watching a film at home or going out to the cinema? Give your reasons. 2Pn3x
Nowadays, young people mostly teenagers are spending their free time on watching drama, movies and series. Eventhough there are many people going out to the cinema, also many others are watching only in their homes. People like spending their time on watching film on cinema and home as an entertainments. But these two types give different satisfactions. In cinema, displaying with wider view, people can see the exactly details on screen. Despite wider screen, people can get more annoyances and noises because many people are also in the hall. And they can make inconvenient situations likes putting their legs on other places, speaking loudly without respect to others, throwing their wastes on the ground and so no. Going out to the cinema can also make a warmly date to all. After watching the film, people cab date their friends creating the best memories often. Watching film in cinema can make more memories to have. While staying at home and watching drama looks like daily routine, going out to cinema and watching film twice a month can be more memorized. Because of spending the time to get to the cinema and transportation charges will help to remember that day as a more special one that the normal day. Staying at home within watching film will be the normal but all the days are interesting because of different types of drama. It will be smaller screen but enough view for one person. In spite of spending the entertainment time individually, it make more peaceful and pleasures. Being at home can't make together with friends. But it doesn't need time to go cinema and transportation charges and ticket fee. It takes the actual time of the movie and people can watch more films instead of spending transportation time. One disadvantage of going out to the cinema is people can't stop the film as they wish while watching at home can skip or stop or continue to the movie. Whereas staying inside and watching drama make less communication. On balance, watching film at home and watching on cinema make people to have different experiences and different comfort feeling. Both of them can make people pleasure but going to cinema can be more tired because of spending the time on the way and using more energy.
Nowadays, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
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spending
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
, movies and series.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going out to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others are watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on watching film on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and home as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an entertainment" or simply "entertainments"?
an entertainments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these two types give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
satisfactions. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, displaying with wider view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the exactly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on screen. Despite wider screen,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more annoyances and noises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
in the hall. And they can
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make
inconvenient situations likes putting their legs on other places, speaking
loudly
without respect to others, throwing their wastes on the ground and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no. Going out to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You used an adverb ('warmly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('date') instead of another adjective.
warmly date
to all. After watching the film,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cab date their friends creating the best memories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. Watching film in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more memories to have. While staying at home and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
looks like daily routine, going out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and watching film twice a month can be more memorized.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and transportation charges will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to remember that day as a more special one that the normal day. Staying at home within watching film will be the normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all the days are interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
. It will be smaller screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
view for one person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
individually
, it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
more peaceful and pleasures. Being at home can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
together with friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it doesn't need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and transportation charges and ticket fee. It takes the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the movie and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
more films
instead
of
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spending
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. One disadvantage of going out to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the film as they wish while watching at home can skip or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or continue to the movie. Whereas staying inside and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
less communication. On balance, watching film at home and watching on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
experiences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
comfort feeling. Both of them can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pleasure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
can be more tired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the way and using more energy.
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IELTS essay Which do you prefer as entertainment, watching a film at home or going out to the cinema? Give your reasons.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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