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There is less communication between family members when compared to past. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

There is less communication between family members when compared to past. wmbGl
Communication is an essential key for a healthy relationship between family relationships. It is believed that communication and bond between family members are reducing in the time of competition. I am in favour of this optimism as individuals are busy to fulfil their endless desires and modern technology is another reason for this phenomenon. People are busy changing money to fulfil their basic amenities. Competition is tough and everyone want to secure their lucrative jobs and career so that people are forced to work long hours. In addition to this, rising inflation becomes an issue so the average wages of individuals have become limited. As a consequence, in many families, it is uncommon for both parents to spend 10-12 hours in the workplace. They leave early in the morning and return home at late night. By this time, their children and aged parents already have gone to sleep. In this situation, family members cannot their feelings with each other. Therefore, the interaction between parents and children becomes limited. Another far most reason is that revolutionary advancement of technology has changed lifestyle and perception of people. Therefore, they have found themselves in a random hole of social media and it has the power to be destructive. As a result, family members are constantly glued to smart devices and they are busy updating status on social media and chatting with virtual friends as well as clients. Hence, the gap between guardians and children is becoming a critical issue. For instance, the University of Washington conducted a survey with 250 US child-parent pairs and it showed that phone addiction causes a lack of communication interaction between family members.
Communication is an essential key for a healthy relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships. It
is believed
that communication and bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are reducing in the time of competition. I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this optimism as individuals are busy to fulfil their endless desires and modern technology is another reason for this phenomenon.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are busy changing money to fulfil their basic amenities. Competition is tough and everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to secure their lucrative jobs and career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to work long hours.
In addition
to this, rising inflation becomes an issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the average wages of individuals have become limited. As a consequence, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, it is uncommon for both parents to spend 10-12 hours in the workplace. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
early in the morning and return home at late night. By this time, their children and aged parents already have gone to sleep. In this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
cannot their feelings with each other.
Therefore
, the interaction between parents and children becomes limited.

Another far most reason is that revolutionary advancement of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
lifestyle and perception of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, they have found themselves in a random hole of social media and it has the power to be destructive.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
constantly
glued to smart
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
devices and
they are busy updating status on social media and chatting with virtual friends
as well
as clients.
Hence
, the gap between guardians and children is becoming a critical issue.
For instance
, the University of Washington conducted a survey with 250 US child-parent pairs and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that phone addiction causes a lack of communication interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
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IELTS essay There is less communication between family members when compared to past.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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