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The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems andemergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and thesociety as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any v.2

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems andemergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and thesociety as a whole. 2
It is true that media channels have placed more emphasis on negative rather than positive content. While the public can reap certain benefits from this phenomenon, I gravitate towards the idea that this do more harm than good. The focus on pressing issues and urgent situations can make some contributions to the betterment of society. Firstly, news coverage of emergencies helps citizens to keep abreast of current situations, thus can be pro-active in avoiding them. For example, when being informed in advance about the coming of a storm, the residents of a city can plan to evacuate to a safer place, thus minimizing possible casualties. Secondly, when negative developments make the headlines, this often raises the awareness of the public about the need of changing our society for the better. A telling example is that constant reports on the extinction of rare and precious animals resulting from human activities have incentivized Vietnamese youth to engage in voluntary campaigns to safeguard the nature. On the other hand, the aforementioned pros are still overshadowed by possible cons. One demerit is that in order to earn profits or boost ratings, some media houses often put out sensational news that can make unwary readers to develop distorted viewpoints about certain events. For instance, Channel 14, a popular news channel in Vietnam, often exaggerate celebrities' scandals or trivia, causing the public to lose trust in the news industry. Furthermore, sometimes these uncertified news can lead to more serious consequences such as social unrest or chaos. In Vietnam in 2017, some traitors abused news channels to broadcast propaganda in order to defeat the Communist Party of Vietnam, throwing the public into a state of panic and fear, which then needed a lot of efforts from the government to pacify. In conclusion, in my opinion, although the propensity of the news media placing too much emphasis on adverse events or emergencies is beneficial to some extent, the merits of this trend are eclipsed by potential risks.
It is true that media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
have placed more emphasis on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
content
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
can reap certain benefits from this phenomenon, I
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gravitate


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
towards
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "this does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this do
more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

The focus on pressing issues and urgent situations can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contributions to the betterment of society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
coverage of emergencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situations,
thus
can be pro-active in avoiding them.
For example
, when
being informed
in advance about the coming of a storm, the residents of a city can plan to evacuate to a safer place,
thus
minimizing possible casualties.
Secondly
, when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the headlines, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raises the awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
about the need of changing our society for the better. A telling example is that constant reports on the extinction of rare and precious animals resulting from human activities have incentivized Vietnamese youth to engage in voluntary campaigns to safeguard the nature.

On the other hand
, the aforementioned pros are
still
overshadowed by possible cons. One demerit is that in order to earn profits or boost ratings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
put out sensational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unwary readers to develop distorted viewpoints about certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Channel
14, a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
in Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exaggerate
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebrities&
#039; scandals or trivia, causing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to lose trust in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
industry.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these uncertified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can lead to more serious consequences such as social unrest or chaos. In Vietnam in 2017,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traitors abused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
to broadcast propaganda in order to defeat the Communist Party of Vietnam, throwing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
into a state of panic and fear, which then needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pacify.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, although the propensity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
media placing too much emphasis on adverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or emergencies is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, the merits of this trend
are eclipsed
by potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems andemergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and thesociety as a whole. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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