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The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. wm81e
In this concurrent era, human nature has become unpredictable and nowadays people get easily influence by attractive things. although many people say that majority of individuals are coping thier fashion and goods from others I also agree with that statement. To begin with, I think sometimes people copy their things in peer pressure as people always wanted to show their Self higher than others in society which portray people's immaturity. To exemplify, apple launch thair new phones every year and many people purchase that phones to show their richness and some people purchase to compete with their friends. Furthermore, celebrities like singers and actors play major role where they wear fashionable clothes for uniqueness but concequently their supporters and and fans mimic their style to look like them wich create such a situation of mimicry. Secondly, I vehemently believe people always want to choose best thing in terms of buying goods such as cars, clothes, or personal jewelleries so they choose branded over local things. For example, when someone decides to buy a car he try to buy from ford, tata or other well established company's car and unintentionally he is coping someone else. Moreover, some fashion clothes selled at low prices by componies also this kind of clothes always produced in larger amount wich leads this condition where people but similar things. To conclude, not only are people buying more and more similar goods co-incidentally but celebrities also influence people to some fashion goods. Therefore, I believe the people's habits like following their idol and buying things from branded shops lead them to mimic others.
In this concurrent era, human nature has become unpredictable and nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
influence by attractive things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that majority of individuals are coping
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
fashion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from others I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
copy their things in peer pressure as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their Self higher than others in society which portray
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's immaturity. To exemplify, apple launch
Possible spelling mistake found.
thair
new phones every year and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
that phones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their richness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
to compete with their friends.
Furthermore
, celebrities like singers and actors play major role where they wear fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for uniqueness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
concequently
their supporters
Possible typo: you repeated a word
and and
fans mimic their style to look like them
Possible spelling mistake found.
wich
create such a situation of mimicry.

Secondly
, I
vehemently
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always want to
A determiner is probably missing here: "choose the best".
choose best
thing in terms of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
such as cars,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, or personal jewelleries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they choose branded over local things.
For example
, when someone decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from ford,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tata
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
well established
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's car and
unintentionally
he is coping someone else.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sold", the past tense form of the verb 'sell'?
selled
at low prices by
Possible spelling mistake found.
componies
also
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
always produced in larger amount
Possible spelling mistake found.
wich
leads this condition where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
similar things.

To conclude
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying more and more similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
co-
incidentally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
celebrities
also
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Therefore
, I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's habits like following their idol and buying things from branded shops lead them to mimic others.
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IELTS essay The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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