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How technology have affected people intraction

How technology have affected people intraction 7py2X
The advent of technology has revolutionized every part of our lives. Especially the way we have interacted. Our interpersonal relationships have been completely changed due to the advancement in technology. Although these advancements have improved the pace, clarity, and safety of the information we share but many might argue that the feelings which we had once while we were communicating with traditional ways of interactions. Despite these arguments, my opinion is that the rise of technological know-how has had quite a positive impact on society. We have to agree that the advancement in technology has paved the path for us to connect with people who are far beyond our neighborhood. The introduction of e-mails, chat messengers and Video Calls have given more freedom to interact with long-distance friends and families. We are now more closely bound with our loved ones, especially recently during covid lockdowns. This isolation has made us crave people's interaction more than ever, these advanced technologies help us reconnect with our long-lost friends and family members. Although we are more connected with our loved ones in today's world but many wise people still have a different opinion, they believe that we got disconnected from the real world. For example, a person who is been quite active on online platforms is less likely to be connected to the real person around them. They believe in the cat race to connect with more and more people around the globe we have stopped prioritizing the real people around us. There is always a darker side to the moon. Despite a few shortcomings we have more positive development because of technologies as we have been able to overcome many communicational challenges and we can interact on more personal terms.
The advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has revolutionized every part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Especially
the way we have interacted. Our interpersonal relationships have been completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Although these advancements have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the pace, clarity, and safety of the information we share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much might", "a good deal of might".
many might
argue that the feelings which we had once while we were communicating with traditional ways of interactions. Despite these arguments, my opinion is that the rise of technological know-how has had quite a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society.

We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has paved the path for us to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are far beyond our neighborhood. The introduction of e-mails, chat messengers and Video Calls have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more freedom to interact with long-distance friends and families. We are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more
closely
bound with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
,
especially
recently during
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
lockdowns. This isolation has made us crave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interaction more than ever, these advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us reconnect with our long-lost friends and family members.

Although we are more connected with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion, they believe that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
disconnected from the real world.
For example
, a person who
is been
quite active on online platforms is less likely to
be connected
to the real person around them. They believe in the cat race to connect with more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
prioritizing the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us.

There is always a darker side to the moon. Despite a few shortcomings we have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
as we have been able to overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
challenges and
we can interact on more personal terms.
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IELTS essay How technology have affected people intraction

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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