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The television generates violence in society

The television generates violence in society VrDX3
Nowdays the media have a strong influence on our life. Some people claim that the television should have an educational role in the society like the school. However, in my opinion, the television has the scope of the entertaining, and these two purposes are not compatible. To clarify the point, the television shows are thinked for a lot of different people and different tastes, and for these reason they could never have the same educational scope. However, on balance, I am convinced that the violence that is generated from the Television is limited to a few weak persons, because if you have a strong personality, you won't be influenced by what you are seeing. Finally, it is important to remember to have a critical behaviour and try to listen and to read he same thing from different sources.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
the media have a strong influence on our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
should have an educational role in the society like the school.
However
, in my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has the scope of the entertaining, and these two purposes are not compatible.

To clarify the point, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "thought", the past tense form of the verb 'think'?
thinked
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tastes, and for these reason they could never have the same educational scope.

However
, on balance, I
am convinced
that the violence that
is generated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is limited
to a few weak persons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if you have a strong personality, you won't
be influenced
by what you are seeing.

Finally
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to remember to have a critical
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and try to listen and to read he same
Did you mean the verb "think"?
thing
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources.

IELTS essay The television generates violence in society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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