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Describle a time when you encouraged someone to do something

Describle a time when you encouraged someone to do something BMpXV
Today, I will tell you about a time when I encouraged my best friend, Thao Linh, to overcome difficulties to achieve the goal her parents wanted. We have known each other since high school and maintain this special relationship until now. Thao Linh is a pure, carefree girl whose most distinctive feature is a cheerful and active personality. I remember when I was in high school, Thao Linh was often urged by her parents to try to pass a university exam in Hanoi. Obviously, this is a difficult challenge for Linh and she always thinks that she will fail, so she cannot focus on studying for the competition. At that time, I was always by Linh's side and I tried to tell her that things would get brighter and that she was strong enough to take on such a challenge. So, instead of being disappointed and dismayed, Linh was determined to try harder, not only for herself but also to meet her parents' expectations. As a result, in the 12th grade, I made remarkable progress and also got into the school that her parents wanted. I also feel glad to have cheered her on and guided her through her emotional and academic setbacks.
Today
, I will
tell
you about a time when I encouraged my best friend,
Thao
Linh
, to overcome difficulties to achieve the goal her parents wanted. We have known each other since high school and maintain this special relationship until
now
.
Thao
Linh is
a pure, carefree girl whose most distinctive feature is a cheerful and active personality.

I remember when I was in high school,
Thao
Linh
was
often
urged by her parents to try to pass a university exam in Hanoi.
Obviously
, this is a difficult challenge for
Linh and
she always
thinks
that she will fail,
so
she cannot focus on studying for the competition.

At that time, I was always by
Linh
's side and I tried to
tell
her that things would
get
brighter and that she was strong
enough
to take on such a challenge.
So
,
instead
of
being disappointed
and dismayed,
Linh
was determined
to try harder, not
only
for herself
but
also
to
meet
her parents' expectations.
As a result
, in the 12th grade, I made remarkable progress and
also
got
into the school that her parents wanted. I
also
feel glad to have cheered her on and guided her through her emotional and academic setbacks.
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IELTS essay Describle a time when you encouraged someone to do something

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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