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If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v.1

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 1
Children who begin reading early perform better in school studies later in life. Early reading skills are very important in a child's future academic achievement. This essay will discuss the importance of early reading and preschool factors that may influence a child's performance in the school. Firstly, it is important to understand that the brain gets accustomed to the act of reading when a child is exposed to learning at a young age. As a result, he can discipline his brain to acquire knowledge at an older age. This is because the brain, like every other muscle in the body, can take any shape if exercised properly and consistently. For example, my cousin began preschool when he was a year old, because his parents were too busy and could not stay at home with him. However, it turned out that it was a good thing for him because he found it easy to read books with proper concentration for an extended time. Apart from early reading habit, another preschool factor that could affect a child's future success in education is sharing and collaborating. In play groups, children are taught to share their toys and play together, mimicking adults working in teams. To be successful in high school and colleges, a student should be able to perform group tasks. To support my point, a 1998 United Nations study showed that children who attended kindergartens at a very young age performed better in sharing ideas and collaborating in the university. The study further went ahead to link the success to the values that they imbibed in playing in groups as babies. In conclusion, early learning and preschool attendance are very crucial for achieving success in a child's future academics.
Children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
perform better in school studies later in life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
future academic achievement. This essay will discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preschool
factors that may influence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
performance in the school.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand that the brain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
accustomed to the act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
when a child
is exposed
to learning at a young age.
As a result
, he can discipline his brain to acquire knowledge at an older age. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the brain, like every other muscle in the body, can take any shape if exercised
properly
and
consistently
.
For example
, my cousin began
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preschool
when he was a year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his parents were too busy and could not stay at home with him.
However
, it turned out that it was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he found it easy to read books with proper concentration for an extended time.

Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preschool
factor that could affect a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
future success in education is sharing and collaborating. In play groups, children
are taught
to share their toys and play together, mimicking adults working in teams. To be successful in high school and colleges, a student should be able to perform group tasks. To support my point, a 1998 United Nations study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that children who attended kindergartens at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age performed better in sharing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and collaborating in the university. The study
further
went ahead to link the success to the values that they imbibed in playing in groups as babies.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
learning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preschool
attendance are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for achieving success in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
future academics.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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