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the table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in official building on a typical weekday v.1

the table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in official building on a typical weekday v. 1
The introduction of shopping websites on the internet has gained much importance and proliferated quickly and successfully in many countries. Online shopping has become a trend with the majority of people using it to buy books, household items and clothing. The main advantage of online shopping is the ease of access to a variety of options, whereas the disadvantage is the time taken to deliver the product. In my opinion, there are more advantages of online shopping than the disadvantages and this essay will shed some light on both the aspects. To begin with, online shopping provides the users an array of products to choose from with a possibility to compare the prices on other websites in order to get the best deal. This facilitates in avoiding the pain taken to visit multiple shops to buy the required item. For example, a recent study confirms that people prefer to buy electronics online rather than going physically at the outlet, also the sales have been deteriorating in stores since the advent of online shopping. It is inadvertently true, that online shopping has captured the majority share and the shop owners have opened up their own online store to remain in business. However, the main disadvantage of this technology is the time taken to deliver the product. It usually takes a week for the shipment to arrive at your doorstep. This method of shopping cannot be utilized for urgent requirements. To exemplify, things required for immediate consumption like medicines cannot be booked online, as some medicines might also require doctor’s prescription. Furthermore, it becomes a hassle and disappointment if a defected product has been received; the whole process is required to be repeated. To conclude, online shopping is a great way to explore and buy from a variety of products available and although, it has one or two disadvantages, but the benefits of online shopping far outweigh the disadvantages of it.
The introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites on the internet has gained much importance and proliferated
quickly
and
successfully
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become a trend with the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
books, household items and clothing. The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access to a variety of options, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is the time taken to deliver the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. In my opinion, there are more advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
than the disadvantages and this essay will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both the aspects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
provides the users an array of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to choose from with a possibility to compare the prices on other websites in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best deal. This facilitates in avoiding the pain taken to visit multiple shops to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the required item.
For example
, a recent study confirms that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
electronics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
rather
than going
physically
at the outlet,
also
the sales have been deteriorating in stores since the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. It is
inadvertently
true, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has captured the majority share and the shop owners have opened up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
store to remain in business.

However
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
of this technology is the time taken to deliver the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. It
usually
takes a week for the shipment to arrive at your doorstep. This method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
cannot
be utilized
for urgent requirements. To exemplify, things required for immediate consumption like medicines cannot
be booked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicines might
also
require doctor’s prescription.
Furthermore
, it becomes a hassle and disappointment if a defected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has
been received
; the whole process
is required
to
be repeated
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a great way to explore and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
from a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available and although, it has one or two disadvantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
far outweigh the disadvantages of it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay the table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in official building on a typical weekday v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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