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The table below shows the number of cars produced in 3 countries between 2003 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The table below shows the number of cars produced in 3 countries between 2003 and 2009.
Some people prefer to donate native communities or directly support underprivileged people, whereas other people do charity in bigger scales. Basically, each method owns benefits aims for a better society, but the latter method is more outstanding than the former ones. The local endowment is a good measure that source of support is quantitatively limited immediately impacts the people received help. Canteen, for example, which provides non-charged food just supplies for a certain amount of food and for a certain number of people per day. Citizens directly provide help to their local charitable organizations, but there is always restricted in a number of citizens who are willing to give away. Hence, the amount of local help is not abundant all the time, so that this is a minus point of this practice. Additionally, because of the direct giving, the residents can receive immediately the help without long time to wait that means this mechanism promptly satisfies the needs of the miserable people, while the larger-scale organizations have to contemplate before giving helping decisions. Ultimately, the local charity just provides small-scale and instable solutions. In contrast, national or international organizations are the optimal measures can solve big affairs: national dilemma and global headache with plentiful contribution that the local endowment cannot afford. UNICEF, for example, appeal people to stand with them in order to conduct its necessary measures. The financial source of these organizations comes from all corners of the world, so it apparently is larger than the budget of local charitable entities. Besides, the national and international organizations concentrate on problems which are necessary to handle, affect the economic development of the world. Thus, supporting for these organizations can solve the global emergency crisis that the local charity cannot carry, brings estate effect to everyone on the world. Subsequently, this approach can work on difficult dilemma at a lower financial pressure. In conclusion, the local endowment can give local solutions, but its financial giving is fluctuated; the larger scales of organizations not only have sufficient budget, but also resolve the national or international concerns. Apparently, the national or international assistance method is still better than the other, because it can solve the global problems in sustainable financial donation. Nevertheless, people should donate within their ability to improve the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to donate native communities or
directly
support underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do charity in bigger scales.
Basically
, each method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
benefits aims for a better society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the latter method is more outstanding than the former ones.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
endowment is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
measure that source of support is
quantitatively
limited immediately impacts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. Canteen,
for example
, which provides non-charged food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
supplies for a certain amount of food and for a certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
per day. Citizens
directly
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is always restricted in a number of citizens who are willing to give away.
Hence
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is not abundant all the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this is a minus point of this practice.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the direct giving, the residents can receive immediately the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
without long time to wait that means this mechanism
promptly
satisfies the needs of the miserable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while the larger-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
contemplate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving helping decisions.
Ultimately
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instable
solutions.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are the optimal measures can solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
affairs:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
dilemma and global headache with plentiful contribution that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
endowment cannot afford. UNICEF,
for example
, appeal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stand with them in order to conduct its necessary measures. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
source of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from all corners of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
apparently
is larger than the budget of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charitable entities.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
concentrate on problems which are necessary to handle, affect the economic development of the world.
Thus
, supporting for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
can solve the global emergency crisis that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charity cannot carry, brings estate effect to everyone on the world.
Subsequently
, this approach can work on difficult dilemma at a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
pressure.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
endowment can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
solutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
giving
is fluctuated
; the larger scales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have sufficient budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
concerns.
Apparently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
assistance method is
still
better than the other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can solve the global problems in sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
donation.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should donate within their ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below shows the number of cars produced in 3 countries between 2003 and 2009.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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