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The table below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The table below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries
It is a fact that international blockbusters dominate the movie market nowadays. There are several reasons for this and from my point of view, authorities ought to invest more money in their domestic movie industries. There are a number of excuses which account for preference of people to foreign movies. Firstly, such films offer the viewers spectacular scenes which local ones could not attain. For instance, modest studios in Vietnam are unable to shoot 3D movements that are considered normal technology in Hollywood, which deprives viewers of enjoying vivid feelings. Besides, since developed countries have free cultures, exotic films usually tell people novel stories which might be presumed to be taboo in their own countries. In comparison, the plots of local movies are likely to be restricted in some safe fields, which makes these films unprepossessing. It is recommended that governments provide local studios with grant because it could bring a variety of benefits. First and foremost, the film industry is deemed sustainable one as it does not require fossil fuel, therefore this kind of industry not only makes money but it is also safe and stable. Moreover when film industry takes shape, it will create considerable opportunity to foster other industries such as music and tourism. The studio of “Kong” which was shot in Vietnam, for example, became an appealing destination to tourists when they visit this country. In conclusion, the attraction of foreign films comes from their stunning scenes along with the special plots and I also believe that governments should have more expenditure on their local film industries because of the reasons mentioned above.
It is a fact that international blockbusters dominate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
market nowadays. There are several reasons for this and from my point of view, authorities ought to invest more money in their domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
industries.

There are a number of excuses which account for preference of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Firstly
, such films offer the viewers spectacular scenes which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones could not attain.
For instance
, modest studios in Vietnam are unable to shoot 3D movements that
are considered
normal technology in Hollywood, which deprives viewers of enjoying vivid feelings.
Besides
, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have free cultures, exotic films
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
novel stories which might
be presumed
to be taboo in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries.
In comparison
, the plots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are likely to
be restricted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
safe fields, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
these films unprepossessing.

It
is recommended
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
studios with grant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could bring a variety of benefits.
First
and foremost, the film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is deemed
sustainable one as it does not require fossil fuel,
therefore
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
safe and stable.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
when film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
takes shape, it will create considerable opportunity to foster other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
such as music and tourism. The studio of “Kong” which
was shot
in Vietnam,
for example
, became an appealing destination to tourists when they visit this country.

In conclusion
, the attraction of foreign films
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their stunning scenes along with the special plots and I
also
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should have more expenditure on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reasons mentioned above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below gives information about Favorite Pastimes in different countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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