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The students discuss the problem with standardized testing. Describe the women's concerns. Then state what you think of the woman's concerns and explain why. v.1

The students discuss the problem with standardized testing. Describe the women's concerns. Then state what you think of the woman's concerns and explain why. v. 1
Sentencing for those found guilty of crimes presents a difficult challenge because justice must be seen to be done for both victims and perpetrators. Mandatory sentencing ensures that the same sentence is handed out for the same crime; however, judges lose the ability to adjust sentences and cannot take into account factors such as age and the possibility of rehabilitation. In this essay, the consequences of mandatory sentencing will be discussed. Mandatory sentencing has the advantage that everyone is aware of exactly the sentence they can expect if found guilty of a particular crime. Nonetheless, since people who commit crimes are often poorly educated and may not consider the consequences of their actions when they commit a legal misconduct, this approach may offer little benefit. Removing the ability of judges to adjust sentences on the basis of the circumstances of a crime may also lead to injustice as it assumes that any two people who commit the same violation have the same level of moral culpability. For example, someone who murders in order to prevent suffering is morally different to someone who murders a stranger at random. Applying the same sentences in such disparate cases clearly would not serve the interests of either justice or the wider community. In addition, it may be appropriate to give a young person who has committed a wrongdoing a lighter sentence in order to give them the opportunity to change their behaviour and become a productive and law-abiding citizen. In contrast, a person who is older and has committed many crimes should receive a heavier penalty as they are more likely to offend again in the future and heavier sentences are needed to protect the community. In summary, mandatory sentencing may lead to injustice because the same misconduct may be committed for very different reasons. In addition, a person’s history and the opportunity for rehabilitation should also be taken into consideration when deciding sentences for those convicted of committing crimes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sentencing
for those found guilty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
presents a difficult challenge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
justice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to
be done
for both victims and perpetrators.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentencing
ensures that the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
is handed
out for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
;
however
, judges lose the ability to adjust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
and cannot take into account factors such as age and the possibility of rehabilitation.

In this essay, the consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentencing
will
be discussed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentencing
has the advantage that everyone is aware of exactly the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
if found guilty of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Nonetheless, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
poorly
educated and may not consider the consequences of their actions when they commit a legal misconduct, this approach may offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
benefit. Removing the ability of judges to adjust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
on the basis of the circumstances of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
may
also
lead to injustice as it assumes that any two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit the same violation have the same level of moral culpability.
For example
, someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
murders in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
suffering is
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
murders a stranger at random. Applying the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
in such disparate cases
clearly
would not serve the interests of either justice or the wider community.

In addition
, it may be appropriate to give a young person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has committed a wrongdoing a lighter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
in order to give them the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and become a productive and law-abiding citizen.
In contrast
, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is older and has committed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should receive a heavier penalty as they are more likely to offend again in the future and heavier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
are needed
to protect the community.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentencing
may lead to injustice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the same misconduct may
be committed
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, a person’s history and the opportunity for rehabilitation should
also
be taken
into consideration when deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
for those convicted of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay The students discuss the problem with standardized testing. Describe the women's concerns. Then state what you think of the woman's concerns and explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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