Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The start-up is becoming increasingly prevalent among youngsters. What are the contributing factors to this phenomenon? Should this trend be promoted?

The start-up is becoming increasingly prevalent among youngsters. What are the contributing factors to this phenomenon? Should this trend be promoted? POpg
It is common knowledge that the start-up is playing a dominant role among the young and the elements contributing to this matter is myriad. Personally, I am strongly supportive of this statement due to the following bases. The constituents affecting the rapid growth of the start-up trend are countless, still these are some of the major factors. Firstly, globalization has boosted the start-up to prevail for the past few years. The start-up stands a great chance of developing stably because pioneering occupations suiting the young and energetic workforce are always up-to-date. In illustration, smartphone manufacturing is among the rising stars in the national economy as a result of globalization in the early 2010s. Secondly, the upsurge of technology is another main determinant of the start-up trend. Most of the emerging professions are high-tech related; therefore, draw attention to the youthful and inquiring labor force. In illustration, about half of the U. S. labor force, 68 million people, hold advancing technology jobs, approximately 60 percent is the young generation, according to a study by nonprofit public policy organization Brookings Institution. After analyzing the main factors of the start-up, it is undoubtedly that it is of great value to our society. First and foremost, not only is starting up an opportunity for youngsters to attain financial satisfaction; hence, it is also a way for them to be pecuniary independent of their parents. Secondly, starting up helps the young to pursue their own dreams and to obtain success in the happiest way. The start-up requires plenty of time and work, therefore, motivation and effort is the precondition for them to seize their accomplishments. To conclude, the start-up trend is swiftly developing due to the global climate and the technology rise, and this development brings about significant advantages for the young in daily life. Thus, the authorities should make incentives for them to produce and increase more trailblazing occupations to ensure a brighter future for our society.
It is common knowledge that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up is playing a dominant role among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and the elements contributing to this matter is myriad.
Personally
, I am
strongly
supportive of this statement due to the following bases.

The constituents affecting the rapid growth of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up trend are countless,
still
these are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
major factors.
Firstly
, globalization has boosted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up to prevail for the past few years. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up stands a great chance of developing
stably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
pioneering occupations suiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and energetic workforce are always up-to-date. In illustration, smartphone manufacturing is among the rising stars in the national economy
as a result
of globalization in the early 2010s.
Secondly
, the upsurge of technology is another main determinant of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up trend. Most of the emerging professions are high-tech related;
therefore
, draw attention to the youthful and inquiring labor force. In illustration, about half of the U. S. labor force, 68 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, hold advancing technology jobs, approximately 60 percent is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation, according to a study by nonprofit public policy organization
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brookings
Institution.

After analyzing the main factors of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up, it is
undoubtedly
that it is of great value to our society.
First
and foremost, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is starting up an opportunity for youngsters to attain financial satisfaction;
hence
, it is
also
a way for them to be pecuniary independent of their parents.
Secondly
, starting up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to pursue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams and to obtain success in the happiest way. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time and work,
therefore
, motivation and effort is the precondition for them to seize their accomplishments.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up trend is
swiftly
developing due to the global climate and the technology rise, and this development brings about significant advantages for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
in daily life.
Thus
, the authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
incentives for them to produce and increase more trailblazing occupations to ensure a brighter future for our society.

IELTS essay The start-up is becoming increasingly prevalent among youngsters. What are the contributing factors to this phenomenon? Should this trend be promoted?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The start-up is becoming increasingly prevalent among youngsters. What are the contributing factors to this phenomenon? Should this trend be promoted?