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High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick?

High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? YOVm
It is common to see a great number of employees work even if they are ill in order to accomplish their tasks. However, it is argued that this situation is vulnerable for both those who do this and those around them. Therefore, they should abstain from work when they got sick. And I agree with this opinion to a greater extent. The first argument behind my opinion is that the productiveness of an employee is directly related to his physiological and psychological wellbeing. To be precise, if an employee is either physically ill or disturbed at his mind, his performance at work can be negatively affected. For instance, people who are physically ill might have some limitations at work. As a result, they have to strain to their limits to compensate for their weakness. This extra effort which they deliver at work is most likely would result in both physical and mental exhaustion. Eventually, they would become sicker. The second reason why I am against employees go to work when they are not well is that they are highly potential of making their co-workers unwell. To be clearer, employees are mostly in touch with their colleagues. It is obvious that there would be higher chances of spreading the disease when employees are infected. Therefore, their presence at work is harmful not only to themselves but also to those around them. To recapitulate, according to my opinion, it is an unwise idea for employees to go to work when they are ill. Because it may have a detrimental effect on both employees themselves and their co-workers.
It is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even if they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
in order to accomplish their tasks.
However
, it
is argued
that this situation is vulnerable for both those who do this and those around them.
Therefore
, they should abstain from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sick. And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion to a greater extent.

The
first
argument behind my opinion is that the productiveness of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is
directly
related to his physiological and psychological
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. To be precise, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is either
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
or disturbed at his mind, his performance at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitations at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
strain to their limits to compensate for their weakness. This extra effort which they deliver at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is most likely would result in both physical and mental exhaustion.
Eventually
, they would become sicker.

The second reason why I am against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they are not well is that they are
highly
potential of making their co-workers unwell. To be clearer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
mostly
in touch with their colleagues. It is obvious that there would be higher chances of spreading the disease when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are infected
.
Therefore
, their presence at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is harmful not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to those around them.

To recapitulate, according to my opinion, it is an unwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ill
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it may have a detrimental effect on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
themselves and their co-workers.
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IELTS essay High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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