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The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals? ORp1E
Nowadays, Animals are being extinct because people are cutting down the forest areas and constructing towns. To keep animal-safe many social groups are giving efforts. I think the government should make laws to protect them and encourage people to save animals. To commence with, there are several benefits of securing animals. By protecting them The new generation will learn about different animal species and boost their knowledge about them. To elaborate it, they are used for entertainment purposes in many countries like nowadays there is the number of animal centers who can organize the animal shows, Because of this many people get a job. Moreover, keeping animals safe also increases tourist attraction. Furthermore, Governments can contribute to the protection of animals by introducing laws. these laws could prohibit activities such as hunting, which involves the unnecessary killing of animals for entertainment purposes. In addition, these lows could include the conversation of wildlife areas where animals could live peacefully and without the risk of being killed by a human being. Many countries have already implemented these types of laws and they have seen positive results in the protection of animals. In other words, authorities can build some organizations to promote and encourage people to stop killing animals. To conclude, people should understand themselves to protect animals and encourage more and more people.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are being extinct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cutting down the forest areas and constructing towns. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
animal-safe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social groups are giving efforts. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to protect them and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save animals.

To commence with, there are several benefits of securing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. By protecting them The new generation will learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species and boost their knowledge about them. To elaborate it, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entertainment purposes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries like nowadays there is the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
centers who can organize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
Because of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.
Moreover
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
safe
also
increases tourist attraction.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can contribute to the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
could prohibit activities such as hunting, which involves the unnecessary killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for entertainment purposes.
In addition
, these lows could include the conversation of wildlife areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
and without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being killed
by a human being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have already implemented these types of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
laws and
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results in the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
In other words
, authorities can build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations to promote and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
killing animals.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should understand themselves to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and encourage more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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