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The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone Do you agree or disagree v.1

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone v. 1
Globalisation opened a new world of opportunities to both national and international companies as well many developed and developing nations. Everyone considering this as a new step towards a completely different world. When the term globalization coined at the first time, it attracted lot of criticism from around the world, especially from economists. But slowly it' s been accepted widely. However, some people believe that it produce positive effects to everyone. I agree to this statement to a certain extent. To begin with, globalization has many advantages. It is very helpful for the economic development of not so developed countries. When multinational companies start their business in such regimes, there will be lot of employment opportunities and also results in infrastructure development of that area. Moreover, local companies also get some benefits from this by way of supplying the raw materials to these companies they can find a global market for their products. On top of that, state gets huge amount of money as taxes and legal fees from these companies. On the flip side of the coin it has some negative effects too. First of all international companies don' t give much importance to the environmental effects that they are causing in the host countries. In addition, increased competition from the multinational companies may affect the local industries, some times it might result in close down of some decades old local businesses. Furthermore, these so called companies are very powerful in terms of finance and influence, this might result in controlling the entire resources of a country. That eventually creates monopoly and unfair trade practices. To recapitulate, Globalisation provides lot of good effects if we think in wider terms, but we can not generalize this effects as positive to everyone. Just like every system it also has some negative effects. So the governments should keep an eye on everything when they open their economy to world market.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
opened a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of opportunities to both national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed and developing nations. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "considers", "considered".
considering
this as a new step towards a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. When the term
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalization' and 'globalisation') within a single text.
globalization
coined at the
first
time, it attracted lot of criticism from around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
especially
from economists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
slowly
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
widely
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to everyone. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement to a certain extent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalization' and 'globalisation') within a single text.
globalization
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for the economic development of not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. When multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their business in such regimes, there will be
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
employment opportunities and
also
results in infrastructure development of that area.
Moreover
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits from this by way of supplying the raw materials to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
they can find a global market for their products.
On top of that
, state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
huge amount of money as taxes and legal fees from these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the flip side of the coin it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects too.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t give much importance to the environmental effects that they are causing in the host countries.
In addition
, increased competition from the multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may affect the local industries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times it might result in close down of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
local businesses.
Furthermore
, these
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
powerful in terms of finance and influence, this might result in controlling the entire resources of a country. That
eventually
creates monopoly and unfair trade practices.

To recapitulate,
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
provides
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in wider terms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can not generalize this effects as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to everyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like every system it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on everything when they open their economy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
market.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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