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In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.5

In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. v. 5
Every country' s prison system has a crucial role in maintaining the law and order of that country. No one can think of a country without a proper correction facilities. It' s a system that we have been following since the civilization and still have it' s relevance in the present scenario. Recently some people are demanding a prison free system, they argue that educating the law brakers will be the better solution than imprisonment. I agree to this statement to some extent. To begin with, if we take the example of lowest crime recorded countries, they all have one thing in common. Which is none other than a perfect prison system and strict rules and regulations. Experts says that fear about strict punishments are the most powerful factor that restricting many others from becoming law breaker. Moreover criminal experts says that, every person has some darkest side buried deep inside in their mind, so relaxed rules and regulations would be an open invitation to those kind of people. On the contrary, educating violators some what effective in certain situations like when people who commit crimes accidentally. In such situations giving long term prison statements may affect the convict behaviour negatively because of the inmates bad influence. Furthermore, education can be used as precaution against crime, if people are well aware of the crime factors and it' s consequences they definitely think twice before committing something wrong. On top of that, these educational approach create a friendly atmosphere in people' s mind so, whenever a crime occurs they approach the law without any fear and misconceptions. To recapitulate, I think it is better to adopt the combination of these two systems for an effective peace keeping. We can not say that one system works in all the situations. So the blend of these two practices will help the countries to maintain good correction system.
Every
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country&
#039; s
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prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has a crucial role in maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and order of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. No one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without a proper correction facilities.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
that we have been following since the civilization and
still
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s relevance in the present scenario. Recently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are demanding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, they argue that educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
Possible spelling mistake found.
brakers
will be the better solution than imprisonment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we take the example of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
recorded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they all have one thing in common. Which is none other than a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "expert says".
Experts says
that fear about strict punishments are the most powerful factor that restricting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others from becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
breaker.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
criminal experts says that, every person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
darkest side buried deep inside in their mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
relaxed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations would be an open invitation to
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the contrary
, educating violators
Did you mean "somewhat" (=slightly)?
some what
effective in certain situations like when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
accidentally
. In such situations giving long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
statements may affect the convict
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
negatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the inmates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence.
Furthermore
, education can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as precaution against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are well aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
factors and
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s consequences they definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
On top of that
, these educational approach create a friendly atmosphere in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
occurs they approach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
without any fear and misconceptions.

To recapitulate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to adopt the combination of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
for an effective peace keeping. We can not say that one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
works in all the situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the blend of these two practices will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
correction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay In most countries, prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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