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the role of parents in modern society

the role of parents in modern society 0BedO
In modern society, the responsibility of parents in educating and understanding their children is a prerequisite for children’ overall development. Firstly, helping children broaden knowledge and teaching them about behaviour is of overriding importance to every parents. Because children grow up day by day and take on new things from the world around them, which they cannot distinguish correctness, parents have to choose suitable knowledge with children’ characteristic and manage their access to age-inappropriate information, which has devastating impacts on them. Furthermore, children’ behaviour is more or less influenced by their parents. For example, when children witness their parents arguing or domestic violence, they will have a tendency to be violent later on. As a result, parents must be role models for their children to follow in respecting adults and communicating in relationships. Teaching them how to behave will help them receive love from other people and avoid many problems associated with conflicts, which are caused by unwanted situations. Secondly, parents should lend sympathy to their children because parents are people they put trust in. During the kids’ development, most of them always face problems related to mistakes, academic pressure, and career orientation, so they want to share their difficulties with someone they believe. Thus, parents should become a solid support for them so that they can lend an sympathetic ear to their childiren and help them solve their problems. For example, if parents scold children due to their exam results, they are unwittingly putting pressure on their children. Instead, they should put themselves in children’ shoes; thereby, encouraging and helping their children along the way of education. Additionally, compared to children who do not have parental care, those have parental care are happier because they do not bear much pressure. In conclusion, raising children, requiring patience from parents, has been never effortless. Consequently, parents have to make an effort to fulfill their vital role, which is a driving force behind the development of children.
In modern society, the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in educating and understanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a prerequisite for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
overall
development.
Firstly
, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
broaden knowledge and teaching them about
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is of overriding importance to every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up day by day and take on new things from the world around them, which they cannot distinguish correctness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose suitable knowledge with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
characteristic and manage their access to age-inappropriate information, which has devastating impacts on them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is more or less influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
witness their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
arguing or domestic violence, they will have a tendency to be violent later on.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be role models for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow in respecting adults and communicating in relationships. Teaching them how to behave will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems associated with conflicts, which
are caused
by unwanted situations.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should lend sympathy to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they put trust in. During the kids’ development, most of them always face problems related to mistakes, academic pressure, and career orientation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they want to share their difficulties with someone they believe.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should become a solid support for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can lend
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
sympathetic ear to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childiren
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them solve their problems.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
scold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to their exam results, they are
unwittingly
putting pressure on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Instead
, they should put themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
shoes; thereby, encouraging and helping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
along the way of education.
Additionally
, compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do not have parental care, those have parental care are happier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not bear much pressure.
In conclusion
, raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, requiring patience from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, has been never effortless.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to fulfill their vital role, which is a driving force behind the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay the role of parents in modern society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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