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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extend do yo agree?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. BJaoX
Education plays a vital role in students' lives by preparing them for modern world challenges. Some people believe that schools should scrap less important subjects, such as art and music, and focus mainly on demanding subjects, for instance, information technology. I believe that keeping updated with modern technology is necessary, although teaching other subjects is also equally important. To begin with, incorporating trending subjects into the school curriculum, such as information technology and computer science, plays a significant role in laying the groundwork for these subjects. Also, in today's technologically advanced world, getting familiar with these subjects at the school level will be more beneficial for students as it would create curiosity among them about these subjects. For example, some schools have already integrated subjects relating to information technology which have benefited them while selecting topics to study in college. However, cutting off art and music from the school syllabus will have adverse effects on pupils. In other words, learning art and music can act as a stress reliever as well as they are important for strengthening the attention span of children, which is important to focus and learn other subjects very well. In addition, all students have different learning abilities. As a result, some adolescents can not have an inclination towards few subjects, hence a wider choice of subjects should be given to all students in the school curriculum. In conclusion, schools should synthesize a wide range of subjects into their syllabus for students to choose from, as they are all crucial to children's development.
Education plays a vital role in students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by preparing them for modern world challenges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should scrap less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as art and music, and focus
mainly
on demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
for instance
, information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. I believe that keeping updated with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is necessary, although teaching other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, incorporating trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum, such as information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and computer science, plays a significant role in laying the groundwork for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Also
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
technologically
advanced world, getting familiar with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level will be more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it would create curiosity among them about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have already integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
relating to information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which have benefited them while selecting topics to study in college.

However
, cutting off art and music from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus will have adverse effects on pupils.
In other words
, learning art and music can act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever
as well
as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for strengthening the attention span of children, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to focus and learn other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
In addition
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
learning abilities.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adolescents can not have an inclination towards few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
hence
a wider choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should synthesize a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
into their syllabus for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose from, as they are all crucial to children's development.
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IELTS essay The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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