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The rise in crime rate in many countries what are the solutions v.1

The rise in crime rate in many countries what are the solutions v. 1
Nowadays, it is observed that the rate of crimes in many countries is increasing. Robbery, murder, kidnapping, rape, scamming are the examples of crimes which are seen these days. The government should take certain actions against it or else it will become incessant and can cause a detrimental effect on the society. This essay will discuss about the solutions that can be made through which felony rate can be decreased. The main causes of the increase in atrocity amount is the education system and unemployment. Education has become a form of business because of which it is not affordable by many people. In my opinion, the regime should make the education for schools free, so that, they know the difference between right and wrong. In addition, the nation should be fully employed with a fixed amount of basic salary. This can automatically help the crime percentage to decrease. The authorities should make strict penalties and punishments for committing any violation. If harsh rules and regulations are made, people will think before breaking any law made by the ministry. Therefore, heavy penalties should be charged with threatening punishments so that, the bad elements do not get the courage for committing any sort of felony in the future. To conclude, it is a major responsibility of the government of any province To reduce the atrocity percentage by taking major actions against it, yet it is the duty of the citizens of the nation as well, to have a good mentality and not harm the society. Hence, if the authorities and the public unite together, then the crime rate of the country can be easily reduced.
Nowadays, it
is observed
that the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries is increasing. Robbery, murder, kidnapping, rape, scamming are the examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
these days. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take certain actions against it or else it will become incessant and can cause a detrimental effect on the society. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
solutions that can
be made
through which felony rate can
be decreased
.

The main causes of the increase in atrocity amount is the education system and unemployment. Education has become a form of business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which it is not affordable by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In my opinion, the regime should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the education for schools free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they know the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
In addition
, the nation should be
fully
employed with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
amount of basic salary. This can
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
percentage to decrease.

The authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict penalties and punishments for committing any violation. If harsh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
are made
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
breaking any law made by the ministry.
Therefore
, heavy penalties should
be charged
with threatening punishments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
elements do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the courage for committing any sort of felony in the future.

To conclude
, it is a major responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of any province

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the atrocity percentage by taking major actions against it,
yet
it is the duty of the citizens of the nation
as well
, to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mentality and not harm the society.
Hence
, if the authorities and the public unite together, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate of the country can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The rise in crime rate in many countries what are the solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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