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The results of the survey showed that 97% of the internally displaced want permanent concrete housing, and a small percentage prefer the caravan or the tent. As for the results of the survey about staying in the places of displacement or returning to the motherland. The answers were 6% prefer to stay in the places of displacement and 94% prefer to return to the motherland. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, this idea was also discussed in focus groups.

The results of the survey showed that 97% of the internally displaced want permanent concrete housing, and a small percentage prefer the caravan or the tent. As for the results of the survey about staying in the places of displacement or returning to the motherland. The answers were 6% prefer to stay in the places of displacement and 94% prefer to return to the motherland. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, this idea was also discussed in focus groups. 0MmK1
The results of the survey showed that 97% of the internally displaced want permanent concrete housing, and a small percentage prefer the caravan or the tent. As for the results of the survey about staying in the places of displacement or returning to the motherland. The answers were 6% prefer to stay in the places of displacement and 94% prefer to return to the motherland. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, this idea was also discussed in focus groups.
The results of the survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 97% of the
internally
displaced want permanent concrete housing, and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage prefer the caravan or the tent. As for the results of the survey about staying in the places of displacement or returning to the motherland. The answers were 6% prefer to stay in the places of displacement and 94% prefer to return to the motherland. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
was
also
discussed in focus groups.

IELTS essay The results of the survey showed that 97% of the internally displaced want permanent concrete housing, and a small percentage prefer the caravan or the tent. As for the results of the survey about staying in the places of displacement or returning to the motherland. The answers were 6% prefer to stay in the places of displacement and 94% prefer to return to the motherland. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, this idea was also discussed in focus groups.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
80 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The results of the survey showed that 97% of the internally displaced want permanent concrete housing, and a small percentage prefer the caravan or the tent. As for the results of the survey about staying in the places of displacement or returning to the motherland. The answers were 6% prefer to stay in the places of displacement and 94% prefer to return to the motherland. Due to the sensitivity of this topic, this idea was also discussed in focus groups.