Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

THE RESTRICTION OF THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES BY ADULTS

THE RESTRICTION OF THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES BY ADULTS 7JeB6
Whether the consumption of alcoholic beverages by adults should be restricted by-laws is a very controversial issue. Some people argue that countries should restrict the consumption of alcoholic beverages by adults; however, I totally disagree with this argument. In my opinion, the consumption of alcoholic beverages by adults should not be restricted by laws due to the rights and freedoms of an individual, and black markets. The first reason why the consumption of alcoholic beverages should not be restricted is the black markets. As a result of the restriction of alcohol, people buy alcohol from black markets, yet the alcohol which is sold in black markets is unhealthier than legal alcohol. Consequently, a country cannot stop alcohol consumption by-laws; moreover, it decreases the quality of people’s life due to restricting legal alcohol. The second reason why the consumption of alcoholic beverages should not be restricted is the rights and freedoms of an individual. In my opinion, a person has the freedoms and rights to choose what to drink and nobody can restrict him/her. Trying to restrict alcohol consumption will just increase the number of people drinking alcohol. People thinking countries should restrict the consumption of alcoholic beverages argue that alcohol is harmful to health. As I mentioned above, people have the rights and freedom to choose what to drink. Although it is true that alcohol is harmful to health, countries should not restrict the consumption of alcohol because people drinking alcohol consider the risks and harms of it while drinking. To sum up, I strongly believe that alcohol consumption should not be restricted by laws. In addition, I hope that the number of people thinking it should not be restricted will increase in the future.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
by adults should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
by-laws is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
controversial issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
by adults;
however
, I
totally
disagree with this argument. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
by adults should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
by laws due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedoms
of an individual, and black markets.

The
first
reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
is the black markets.
As a result
of the restriction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
from black markets,
yet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
which
is sold
in black markets is unhealthier than legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
.
Consequently
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
by-laws;
moreover
, it decreases the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life due to restricting legal alcohol.

The second reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedoms
of an individual. In my opinion, a person has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedoms
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to choose what to drink and nobody can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
him/her. Trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drinking alcohol.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcoholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
is harmful to health. As I mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to choose what to drink. Although it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
is harmful to health,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrict
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
consider the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and harms of it while drinking.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
by laws.
In addition
, I hope that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thinking it should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restricted
will increase in the future.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay THE RESTRICTION OF THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES BY ADULTS

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts