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some people think that it is better to spend time with family,others think that having fun with friends is much more important

some people think that it is better to spend time with family, others think that having fun with friends is much more important nRwoE
Part of community reckon that people should hang out with friends in free time whereas others think that it is essential to spend time with family members. Nowadays this issue becomes pretty controversial. On the one hand, family is first under any circumstances for most people. Person who is busy working hard, they have only a little time to meet family members. However, children especially younger ones must spend more time with family. Parents shape their children from the beginning of their lives. They teach their children values and raise them correctly. From my point of view, it is one of the most important reason why should child spend more time with family members. On the other hand, adults feel really stressted out if they are not able to have fun with their peers after tough week. There are questions which you bother and want to share with your closest friend to get some advices. This actually means that you feel more free and self-confident with them. To sum up, people are often in a dilemma as to whether they should spend time with family or have fun out with friends. Personally, spending time with family is more important.
Part of community reckon that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should hang out with friends in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

Nowadays this issue becomes pretty controversial.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
first
under any circumstances for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Person who is busy working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
However
, children
especially
younger ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Parents shape their children from the beginning of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They teach their children values and raise them
correctly
. From my point of view, it is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why should child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

On the other hand
, adults feel
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressted
out if they are not able to have fun with their peers after tough week. There are questions which you bother and want to share with your closest friend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advices. This actually means that you feel more free and self-confident with them.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in a dilemma
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or have fun out with friends.
Personally
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay some people think that it is better to spend time with family, others think that having fun with friends is much more important

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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