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many people choose to be self -employed rather than to work for a company. why might this case?

many people choose to be self -employed rather than to work for a company. why might this case? Kn21M
Today people devided on two group self-employed and work a company or organization, majority of people prefer to be self- employed. Many people want to become self - employed today, because many entrepreneurs see advantages such as you can have own workers’ day and you earn much money than if you work for a company or organization. Self- employed person is a buissnesman, you are the boss of your job. Every day such as person has his own plans for day, only he decides at what time start to work, more over he can make a break or holidays at any time. In media people hear news that workers are not agree with work time, it is uncomfortable, what is their main, salary is too small, The second reason that many citizens choose to be self employers, it is tiny salary. Everyone know that man that has own buissnes is rich. Business men can develop their work in different spheres, so it helps to earn much many. Even though self -employed people have many problem during creating buissnes, it is mean that there are disadvantages of being self-employed. Your buissnes could be not actual nowadays after that you will lost much money and became poor, so you need wonderful plan before you open you own company or organisation. When you work for a company, all troubles are going to company where you are working. Only this firm spend money to solves problems. The main disadvantages that buissnesman only solve his problems of his organization. To become self-employed you will need big amount of money or try to find investors, because you can not do something without money in modern world. So you will take a loan and pay part of your earnings to bank for return the loan. First years such as men have minimum earnings from their buissnes. Everyone can decide what to choose to be self - employed or to work for someone organisation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
devided
on two group self-employed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or organization,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to be self-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to become self
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entrepreneurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advantages such as you can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
workers’ day and you earn much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or organization. Self-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
person is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
buissnesman
, you are the boss of your job. Every day such as person has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
plans for day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
he decides at what time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, more over he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a break or holidays at any time. In media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hear news that workers are not
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
time, it is uncomfortable, what is their main, salary is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, The second reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens choose to be self employers, it is tiny salary. Everyone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "knows".
know
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
buissnes
is rich. Business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
spheres,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to earn much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

Even though
self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
during creating
Possible spelling mistake found.
buissnes
, it is mean that there are disadvantages of being self-employed.

Your
Possible spelling mistake found.
buissnes
could be not actual nowadays after that you will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and became poor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you need wonderful plan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you open you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, all troubles are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
where you are working.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
The verb 'spend' is plural. Did you mean: "this firm spends"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this firm spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to solves problems. The main disadvantages that
Possible spelling mistake found.
buissnesman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solve his problems of his organization. To become self-employed you will need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or try to find investors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can not do something without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in modern world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you will take a loan and pay part of your earnings to bank for return the loan.
First
years such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have minimum earnings from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
buissnes
.

Everyone can decide what to choose to be self
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for someone
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
.
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IELTS essay many people choose to be self -employed rather than to work for a company. why might this case?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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