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The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amount of money This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amount of money This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development v. 2
Ancient buildings need regular maintenance. As renovation of these historical buildings drain away large part of the government budget, therefore, some people hold the opinion that this money would be better invested on construction of new buildings and roads. However, I strongly disagree with latter notion and in this essay I will support my viewpoint with examples. Historical buildings are source of tourism. Almost every country has ancient monuments which attract thousands of tourists all over the world. maintenance of these buildings by government bodies not only make the country proud about its ancient property but also source of income for government. One such instance is Taj Mahal located in India. Taj Mahal is one of the 7 wonders of the world and its exquisite beauty attracts lots of visitors around the world every year. It has been mentioned in one survey that 20% of state' s revenue is being generated by this wonder because of the patronage of the tourists. Moreover, ancient buildings proved to be an excellent source of education for students as well as researchers. An excursion to such ancient buildings provide better assistance to students and create a vivid picture about history and architecture associated with these monuments. History and Architectural study are such areas which make use of these ancient structures as a teaching tool. I vividly remember an educational trip to Amritsar' s Jalianwala Bagh during my school time. By looking at the many decades old marks of bullets on walls, we learnt about the sacrifices made by our patriots in past. To recapitulate, the expenditure to preserve ancient buildings for tourism and educational assistance is worthy not only for one nation but also conserve land and trees to prevent global warming.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
need regular maintenance. As renovation of these historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
drain away large part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the opinion that this money would be better invested on construction of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and roads.
However
, I
strongly
disagree with latter notion and in this essay I will support my viewpoint with examples.

Historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are source of tourism. Almost every country has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
monuments which attract thousands of tourists all over the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
maintenance
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the country proud about its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
property
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
source of income for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. One such instance is Taj Mahal located in India. Taj Mahal is one of the 7 wonders of the world and its exquisite beauty attracts lots of visitors around the world every year. It has
been mentioned
in one survey that 20% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
state&
#039; s revenue is
being generated
by this wonder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the patronage of the tourists.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
proved to be an excellent source of education for students
as well
as researchers. An excursion to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
provide better assistance to students and create a vivid picture about history and architecture associated with these monuments. History and Architectural study are such areas which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
structures as a teaching tool. I
vividly
remember an educational trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amritsar&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jalianwala
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bagh
during my school time. By looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
marks of bullets on walls, we
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
about the sacrifices made by our patriots
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
.

To recapitulate, the expenditure to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
for tourism and educational assistance is worthy not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for one nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
conserve land and trees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
global warming.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs enormous amount of money This money would be better spent on providing new housing and road development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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