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The relentless growth in technology has a tremendous impact on people’s lives

The relentless growth in technology has a tremendous impact on people’s lives 6mx9r
The relentless growth in technology has a tremendous impact on people’s lives. Nowadays,  almost everybody has their own electronic devices such as smartphones and computers because of the convenience they bring. These smart devices make it easy for people to work from anywhere,  even at home. There are both upsides and downside to this situation.  However, its benefits clearly outweigh its disadvantages. Firstly, it is true that there are a number of disadvantages of working from home. The fact is that when working with electronic devices without management or supervision, worker can easily get distracted by things like movies, online games, so that they cannot concentrate entirely on their work. Working from home require high levels of discipline and commitment, so if worker not highly focused on their work, its will negatively affect their work performance and productivity. Another drawback is employee have less chance to interact and communicate directly with their colleagues, this may lead to feelings of loneliness due to a lack of interaction and difficult to develop social skills, such as teamwork skills or communication. However, from my perspective, the benefits of this situation are greater than its drawbacks. The first advantage of working from home is the freedom it provides. Home workers are in total control of their work environment, they can choose where and when they want to work, so that they can feel comfortable while working. Moreover, the alluring convenience of relying on modern technologies and Internet to conduct business is undeniable. It has become a common practice for people to interact and working through a plethora of social networks as an alternative for save amount of time commuting back and forth to work, also facilitating a massive boost in productivity. Lastly, working from home do not need to the office on a daily basic, so workers can master time and spend extra time with their family and other relationships. In conclusion, although there are positives and negatives related to working from home, there are more positive impacts. .
The relentless growth in technology has a tremendous impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Nowadays,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
almost everybody has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
electronic devices such as smartphones and computers 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the convenience they bring. These smart devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from anywhere,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
even at home. There are both upsides and downside to this situation.  
However
, its benefits
clearly
outweigh its disadvantages.

Firstly
, it is true that there are a number of disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home. The fact is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with electronic devices without management or supervision,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted by things like movies, online games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they cannot concentrate
entirely
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
from home require high levels of discipline and commitment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
not
highly
focused on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, its will
negatively
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance and productivity. Another drawback is employee have less chance to interact and communicate
directly
with their colleagues, this may lead to feelings of loneliness due to a lack of interaction and difficult to develop social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or communication.

However
, from my perspective, the benefits of this situation are greater than its drawbacks. The
first
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home is the freedom it provides. Home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are in total control of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment, they can choose where and when they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can feel comfortable while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
Moreover
, the alluring convenience of relying on modern technologies and Internet to conduct business is undeniable. It has become a common practice for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to interact and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
through a plethora of social networks as an alternative for save amount of time
Consider using "commuting".
commuting back and forth
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
also
facilitating a massive boost in productivity.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home do not need to the office on a daily basic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can master time and spend extra time with their family and other relationships.

In conclusion
, although there are positives and negatives related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home, there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay The relentless growth in technology has a tremendous impact on people’s lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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