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Nowadays, people give preference to get married later in their life and have children after the age of 30.Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people give preference to get married later in their life and have children after the age of 30. Is it a positive or negative development? ra8gp
It is rightly said that, these days people prefer to get married later in their life and become parents after the age of 30 years. However, there are some merits of this trend, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks of this trend. Consequently, I consider it to be a negative development. To commence with, the main reason why people regard this trend as negative development is decreased fertility rates later in life. Moreover, there are an ample of evidences suggesting that fertility rates decline nearly 50 % after the age of 30. Thus, the chances of successful pregnancy later in life are very low. As a result, couples count on IVF treatments to have infants. Another striking reason behind this is that the offsprings of such couples come under responsibilities very early in their life. They have to take care of their elder parents. Furthermore, the people who give preference to have children after the age of 30, may be unable to contribute completely in the upbringing of their child. Beside this, such children are likely to feel the burden of their elder parents. Additionally, the third reason why this trend is considered as negative development the generation gap which it creates. Since, there will a big difference between the age of parents and their children, their thinking about various aspects of the society may differ, which can lead to conflicts between them. Take modern technology, for instance. People who have infants later in their married life may not be able to co-operate with developed technology as their children do. In conclusion, I consider it to be a negative development overall because of its detrimental effects on children's life.
It is
rightly
said that, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30 years.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
Consequently
, I consider it to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. To commence with, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is decreased
fertility rates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, there are
The phrase 'an ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an ample of
evidences suggesting that fertility rates decline
nearly
50 % after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30.
Thus
, the chances of successful pregnancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
As a result
, couples count on IVF treatments to have infants. Another striking reason behind this is that the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
of such couples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who give preference to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30, may be unable to contribute completely in the upbringing of their child. Beside this, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to feel the burden of their elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Additionally
, the third reason why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
the generation gap which it creates. Since, there will a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, their thinking about various aspects of the society may differ, which can lead to conflicts between them. Take modern technology,
for instance
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have infants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in their married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may not be able to co-operate with developed technology as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do.
In conclusion
, I consider it to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
overall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its detrimental effects on children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people give preference to get married later in their life and have children after the age of 30. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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