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The reason why we shoul be happy

The reason why we shoul be happy NmPOW
If survey was given to a numbers of people about what the purpose of their live, various answer will be collected such as to be reach, to be famous or other relevan answer. However, if we ask why the want to be like that? we might point out a single conclusion that is satisfaction or happiness. We need to be happy as well as wealth because it will make our live balace and avoid as from various cronic dissease. Unhappy person tend to be violent which harm itself and familly. According to current research, full stresses familly members 2 time higher have possibility getting stroke or heart attact Overyone have their own standard which depend on maturation and previous experience lead to extraordinary difficult to find a single definition. For instance, wealth person perhaps consider gathering with his or her familly as the source comfort, in spite of their wealth. In contrary, poor people with larg family think that they will being happy when the have a huge amount of cash. Furthermore, possesing various type of toys provide satisfaction for kids while in otherhand collecting a lot of car will provide the same feeling for adult. So, what make people happy wherease in the same times not for others? In my opinion is the standard or quality choosen earlier. For worker who wage 100 pound per hour will extremely happy when got 200 pound bonus which will not work for executive who paid 1000 pound per hour. In conclusion, healthy life need satisfaction for what we already have or belonging. Is important to avoid us from fatal disease as well as save our future carrier
If survey was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a number" or simply "numbers"?
a numbers
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about what the purpose of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, various answer will
be collected
such as to be reach, to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
or other
Possible spelling mistake found.
relevan
answer.
However
, if we ask why the want to be like that?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
might point out a single conclusion
that is
satisfaction or happiness. We need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
as well
as wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
balace
and avoid as from various
Possible spelling mistake found.
cronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissease
. Unhappy person tend to be violent which harm itself and
Possible spelling mistake found.
familly
. According to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
research, full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
Possible spelling mistake found.
familly
members 2 time higher have possibility getting stroke or heart
Possible spelling mistake found.
attact


Possible spelling mistake found.
Overyone
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
standard which depend on maturation and previous experience lead to extraordinary difficult to find a single definition.
For instance
, wealth person perhaps consider gathering with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
Possible spelling mistake found.
familly
as the source comfort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
their wealth. In contrary, poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
larg
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they will being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
when the have a huge amount of cash.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
possesing
various type of toys provide satisfaction for kids while in
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherhand
collecting
Possible agreement error. The noun car seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of cars".
a lot of car
will provide the same feeling for adult.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
Possible spelling mistake found.
wherease
in the same times not for others? In my opinion is the standard or quality
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
earlier. For worker who wage
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
100 pound
per hour will
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
200 pound
bonus which will not work for executive who paid
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1000 pound
per hour.
In conclusion
, healthy life need satisfaction for what we already have or belonging. Is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to avoid us from fatal disease
as well
as
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
our future
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
carrier
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IELTS essay The reason why we shoul be happy

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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