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Online communication is becoming more popular than face-to-face communication in many companies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Online communication is becoming more popular than face-to-face communication in many companies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Blm0p
In this day and age, direct communication is becoming more and more popular in many workplaces, which means face-to-face communication is being replaced gradually. In my perspective, the merits of this trend are overshadowed by their drawbacks. On the one hand, there would be a number of downsides of online interaction. To begin with, communcation through the internet might lack emotion or be misinterpreted easily, which means it can lead to the conflict between employess. For instance, an email from one employee to another may be written in the way that makes another employee feel uncomfortable or maybe disregards. This situation may not happen if the communication is taken place in person, with a friendly tone. Besides, online interaction can be interrupted sometimes because of the poor connection, which means the workers will omit important information during the work process, this might put the bad impact on the work productivity and work performance. Nevertheless, I personally believe that the downsides of online communication are overweigh by its benefits. Firstly, online interaction is much easier for workers keep in touch as well as communicate together, regardless of geographic locations. For example, a headquater manager can hold a meeting with all branch managers in different cities or countries, it can save the company a lot of money that would be required for everyone attend the meeting in person. In addition, workers can be flexible in working place and time, which means they can work at the place and time that they feel comfortable, it can increase the efficiency, especially during the Covid-19 epidemic, online communication can help them work on schedule and effectively without affecting on their health. To sum up, it seems to me that the potential advantages of online interaction are more likely significant than the possible detrimental.
In this day and age, direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is becoming more and more popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workplaces, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is
being replaced
gradually
. In my perspective, the merits of this trend
are overshadowed
by their drawbacks.

On the one hand, there would be a number of downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
communcation
through the internet might lack emotion or
be misinterpreted
easily
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
it can lead to the conflict between
Possible spelling mistake found.
employess
.
For instance
, an email from one employee to another may
be written
in the way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
another employee feel uncomfortable or maybe disregards. This situation may not happen if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is taken
place in person, with a friendly tone.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
can
be interrupted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the poor connection, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
the workers will omit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
process, this might put the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
productivity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance.

Nevertheless
, I
personally
believe that the downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
by its benefits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
is much easier for workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch
as well
as communicate together, regardless of geographic locations.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
headquater
manager can hold a meeting with all branch managers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities or countries, it can save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money that would
be required
for everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "attends", "attended".
attend
the meeting in person.
In addition
, workers can be flexible in working place and time, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the place and time that they feel comfortable, it can increase the efficiency,
especially
during the Covid-19 epidemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on schedule and
effectively
without affecting on their health.

To sum up, it seems to me that the potential advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interaction
are more likely significant than the possible detrimental.
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IELTS essay Online communication is becoming more popular than face-to-face communication in many companies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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