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The reason why students are under more and more pressure nowadays

The reason why students are under more and more pressure nowadays m9kAN
Nowadays, the study pressure that students need to bear has become the annoyance of more and more students. The pressure of students mainly comes from school and family, which has brought harm to students' physical and mental health.   The main pressure students face comes from two aspects, school and family. The first is the amount of work that schools assign to students beyond their means. Too much homework will occupy most of students' rest time. If students don't get enough rest, their stress and negative emotions will increase. The second is pressure from parents at home. Nowadays, more and more parents are strict with their children's academic performance, which makes it impossible for children to relax at home. If not stopped in time, the parent-child relationship will deteriorate and cause harm to both parents and students, which will increase the pressure on students.  Too much study pressure will do great harm to students' physical and mental health. First of all, too much study pressure will have an impact on health. Living under stress for a long time can damage students' memory and learning ability, leading to symptoms such as poor concentration and poor memory. Secondly, the pressure of study will also lead to some psychological disorders. Students don't get enough rest, which can lead to emotional anxiety, lack of concentration, and even fatigue. After the physical and mental health is seriously affected, it will eventually affect the state of students' learning, leading to a decline in grades, and in the worst case, it will lead to weariness.  To sum up, students' pressure mainly comes from too much homework at school and the deterioration of family relations, and too much pressure will hurt students both physically and psychologically and affect their study.
Nowadays, the
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study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to bear has become the annoyance of more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and family, which has brought harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from two aspects,
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school
and family.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
is the amount of work that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
assign to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
beyond their means. Too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
homework will occupy most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
rest time. If
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students
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions will increase. The second is
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pressure
from parents at home. Nowadays, more and more parents are strict with their children's academic performance, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible for children to relax at home. If not
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stopped
in time, the parent-child relationship will deteriorate and cause harm to both parents and
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students
, which will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on
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students
.  Too
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much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
will do great harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, too
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much
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study
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pressure
will have an impact on
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health
. Living under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for a long time can damage
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students'
memory and learning ability, leading to symptoms such as poor concentration and poor memory.
Secondly
, the
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pressure
of
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study
will
also
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
psychological disorders.
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Students
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rest, which can lead to emotional anxiety, lack of concentration, and even fatigue. After the physical and mental
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health
is
seriously
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affected
, it will
eventually
affect the state of
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students'
learning, leading to a decline in grades, and in the worst case, it will lead to weariness.  To sum up,
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students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from too
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much
homework at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the deterioration of family relations, and too
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much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
will hurt
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students
both
physically
and
psychologically
and affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
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IELTS essay The reason why students are under more and more pressure nowadays

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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