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Some people think that these days the level of communication is decreasing among members of family. Do you agree ir disagree

Some people think that these days the level of communication is decreasing among members of family. Do you agree ir disagree 7LRN5
It is an undeniable to say that a small section of society opine that nowadays the skills of communication is declining towards family members. I however, believe that it is decreasing in some familes due to technology as well as work, while the importance of communication cannot be neglected by some families. To begin with, there are only certain families are remaining who knows the importance of communication. To elaborate it, individuals who use less technology as well as do work according to their needs, those saves their time to spend it with their families. For an example, a survey was conducted by Hindustan Times which showed that masses who spend time with thier families are remained only 30%. Hence, a certain amount of individuals knows the importance of it. However, there are many people who does not know the value of communication towards their families. To explain it, nowadays individuals waste their most of time on social media such as facebook, instagram and so on. So, they do not have time for other things. For instance, a survey was conducted by The Tribune which revealed that the ratio of technology gadgets was incresing day by day among families. As a result, individuals are more dependent on technogy. Furthermore, there are various individuals who do not spend time with their house members due to hectic schedule. In this modern era, masses are becoming more selfish as they take part in race of making more money to become rich. For an example, individuals in every society take overtime to earn more money. Therefore, they do not have enough time for their families. To conclude, although, there are some families who knows the value of communication but most of families are neglect the importance of communication.
It is an undeniable to say that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
section of society opine that nowadays the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
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communication
is declining towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. I
however
, believe that it is decreasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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familes
due to technology
as well
as work, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
cannot
be neglected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. To elaborate it,
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individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less technology
as well
as do work according to their needs, those saves their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend it with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. For an example, a survey
was conducted
by Hindustan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are remained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30%.
Hence
, a certain amount of
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individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of it.
However
, there are
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many
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people
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who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
does
not
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know
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
towards their
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families
. To
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explain
it, nowadays
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individuals
waste their most of
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time
on social media such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
and
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so
on.
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So
, they do not have
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time
for other things.
For instance
, a survey
was conducted
by The Tribune which revealed that the ratio of technology gadgets was
Possible spelling mistake found.
incresing
day by day among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are more dependent on
Possible spelling mistake found.
technogy
.
Furthermore
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
members due to hectic schedule. In this modern era, masses are becoming more selfish as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in race of making more money to become rich. For an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in every society take overtime to earn more money.
Therefore
, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
To conclude
, although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "know"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'families' should be used.
knows
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are neglect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that these days the level of communication is decreasing among members of family. Do you agree ir disagree

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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