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The rate of crime committed by teenagers is increasing in the world. Why is this case? Can you provide some solutions?

The rate of crime committed by teenagers is increasing in the world. Why is this case? Can you provide some solutions? kWY5e
The offenses carried out by young people is surging worldwide. The potential causes of its growing popularity can be identified as poverty and detrimental relationships. In addition to that, the essay draws a close attention to the ways that can be devised to solve this predicament such as introducing new labour policies and provision of education. One of the underlying causes why the rate of crime committed by teenagers is rocketing can be ascertained to be the level of poverty. When young people's parents does not encompass sufficient financial resources to manage the needs and ensure the day-to-day survival, it will lead the teenagers to engage in crimes such as theft and murder. Furthermore, if the youth populace associate them with bad company, they are bound to partake in anti-social dealings such as illicit liquor and drug trafficking. There is a famous saying which go as "an idle brain is the devil's workshop". That is to say, if the parents of young people are away from home, it creates room for them to think of pernicious activities as it does not necessitate the young generation to follow their habitual routine which can lead them to engage in crimes as they have little left to do or no one to supervise their actions. One best approach to dip teenage crime rates is to bring about new employment laws such as providing equal opportunities for men and women, avoiding age and race discrimination, and making employment opportunities accessible to everyone. Additionally, education can be seen as a way out of poverty. By way of explanation, education helps to alleviate poverty, which in turn would significantly decrease teenage crime rates. Offering subsidies and monetary benefits to those out of work can be another method that can be employed to eliminate teenage crime rates. To sum up, it is quite possible to bring down the teenage crime rates with the right set of techniques adopted by the state of a nation.
The offenses carried out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
surging worldwide. The potential causes of its growing popularity can
be identified
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and detrimental relationships.
In addition
to that, the essay draws a close attention to the ways that can
be devised
to solve this predicament such as introducing new
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
policies and provision of education.

One of the underlying causes why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is rocketing can
be ascertained
to be the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's parents does not encompass sufficient financial resources to manage the needs and ensure the day-to-day survival, it will lead the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as theft and murder.
Furthermore
, if the youth populace associate them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they
are bound
to partake in anti-social dealings such as illicit liquor and drug trafficking. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying which go as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
an idle brain is the devil's workshop
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
That is
to say, if the parents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are away from home, it creates room for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of pernicious activities as it does not necessitate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to follow their habitual routine which can lead them to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to do or no one to supervise their actions.

One best approach to dip teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
is to bring about new employment laws such as providing equal opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, avoiding age and race discrimination, and making employment opportunities accessible to everyone.
Additionally
, education can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a way out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. By way of explanation, education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, which in turn would
significantly
decrease teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. Offering subsidies and monetary benefits to those out of work can be another method that can
be employed
to eliminate teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

To sum up, it is quite possible to bring down the teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
with the right set of techniques adopted by the state of a nation.
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IELTS essay The rate of crime committed by teenagers is increasing in the world. Why is this case? Can you provide some solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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