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The range and quality of food has been improved with the development of technology and scientific advance. Some people think it is good and others think it is harmful. Discuss two sides and give your opinion

The range and quality of food has been improved with the development of technology and scientific advance. Some people think it is good and others think it is harmful. Discuss two sides and give your opinion o1XOB
In today’s global society, it’s easy for people to get a wider range of higher quality of food. However, there are opposing opinions of whether it is good for humans. Personally, I think that it is harmful to people. it is no denying that nowadays people have more choices for food without geographic limits. Living in a remote countryside, people still have an access to foreign food. For example, a person residing in china wants to eat European cooky snacks. He does not need to book a plane ticket to go to European in person, and what he need to do is just to make an order on amazon. A few days later, his dreaming cookies will be delivered to his home. Hence, people can enjoy wider and tastier food than ever before. However, owing to the scientific advancement, a plenty of food are high-processed, harmful to populace health. to cater for people’s taste, a number of industries use chemical ingredients to enrich the taste and smell of food. If people are exposed to processed food usually, in the long run, their physical health will suffer. For example, in order to make food more delicious, numerous food manufactures add a lot of sugars in food and the amount of sugar is generally far more than the standards. Thus, people are forced to intake excessive sugar without conscious, leading to the development of obesity and associated conditions such as diabetes and heart disease. In conclusion, while scientific and technological advancement makes it possible for people to taste a huge number of various foods, high-processed food has a detrimental effect on people’s health.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s global society, it’s easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a wider range of higher quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
However
, there are opposing opinions of whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for humans.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is harmful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is no denying that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more choices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without geographic limits. Living in a remote countryside,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, a person residing in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
wants to eat European
Possible spelling mistake found.
cooky
snacks. He does not need to book a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
ticket to go to European in person, and what he need to do is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an order on
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
. A few days later, his dreaming cookies will
be delivered
to his home.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy wider and tastier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

However
, owing to the scientific advancement, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are high-processed, harmful to populace health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
cater for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
taste, a number of industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
chemical ingredients to enrich the taste and smell of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
to processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
usually
, in the long run, their physical health will suffer.
For example
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
more delicious, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
manufactures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sugars in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the amount of sugar is
generally
far more than the standards.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to intake excessive sugar without conscious, leading to the development of obesity and associated conditions such as diabetes and heart disease.

In conclusion
, while scientific and technological advancement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to taste a huge number of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, high-processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
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IELTS essay The range and quality of food has been improved with the development of technology and scientific advance. Some people think it is good and others think it is harmful. Discuss two sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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