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The qualities of a person to be successful in a real world cannot be learned from a university or similar academic institution.

The qualities of a person to be successful in a real world cannot be learned from a university or similar academic institution. KYeDN
Now a days quality plays a vital role for a individual person's life to success the real world. it is suggested that the qualities of success cannot be acquired from a university or similar academic institution. However, I am totally agree with this statement for many reasons. A wide range of factors can inspire me to appreciate the topic that I am describing here. First, socialization is one of the most major purpose for us but we didn't get it to our education centre. similarly, at present many tech giant companies such as Google Facebook who are looking for expertise people of their work and it is a chance to success in a real world. Also there are some great people who didn't get education in academic institution but they succeed in their life like Thomas Alva Edison. Actually most Universities and schools they are just given some certificate by your reading skill and it will be not helpful to success anyway
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
quality plays a vital role for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
individual person's life to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
the real world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is suggested
that the qualities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
cannot
be acquired
from a university or similar academic institution.
However
, I am
totally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this statement for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.

A wide range of factors can inspire me to appreciate the topic that I am describing here.
First
, socialization is one of the most major purpose for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it to our education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, at present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tech giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Google Facebook who are looking for expertise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of their work and it is a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in a real world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education in academic institution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they succeed in their life like Thomas Alva Edison. Actually most Universities and schools they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certificate by your reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and it will be not helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
anyway
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IELTS essay The qualities of a person to be successful in a real world cannot be learned from a university or similar academic institution.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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