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The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.11

The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. v. 11
The education system has evolved with time, and continuously trying to catch up with the latest technological advancements. The curriculum being offered by academic institutes is updated periodically, whereas the new developments in the industry are evolving every day. Some critics assert that the university education is the key to become a successful professional, while I completely disagree with this notion and the essay will outline why extra skill set needs to be inculcated in the graduates. Firstly, in today's IT world along with the academic subjects, one has to learn some specific skills or a language such as, artificial intelligence, python, in order to have an extra edge over others. These advanced courses can not be taught in colleges, because they require well-equipped labs and experienced staff, which is lagging in most of the universities. The University of London, for instance, is the oldest university in the UK, but they still do not have their own lab for coding. Moreover, as most of the universities have nominal fees, so they cannot afford such a high-tech infrastructure, therefore the students do not get exposed to the latest trends and it makes them hard to survive in the corporate world. Secondly, since the teaching staff is underpaid in the universities, consequently, they are not motivated to study the latest technological trends and pass it on to their students. In other words, the students after completing their education join a job with traditional concepts in their minds, hence they struggle to understand the latest technical terms used in the industry. For example, Google has started a campus connect program in association with few universities in the US, and they have made this as mandatory for students to pass these modules, in order to be eligible for a job in their company. Furthermore, since the majority of the students during their academic study focus only on the defined syllabus, in order to pass the exams and attain the degree, as a result, they do not gain practical knowledge, so they have to undergo hardships to get a job. To conclude, the present education system cannot catch with the lightning-fast changing technological trends. It only focuses on the basic concepts which are not sufficient for a student to become a successful professional engineer.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system has evolved with time, and
continuously
trying to catch up with the latest technological advancements. The curriculum
being offered
by academic institutes
is updated
periodically
, whereas the new developments in the industry are evolving every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
critics assert that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the key to become a successful professional, while I completely disagree with this notion and the essay will outline why extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set needs to
be inculcated
in the graduates.

Firstly
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's IT world along with the academic subjects, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or a language such as, artificial intelligence, python, in order to have an extra edge over others. These advanced courses can not
be taught
in colleges,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they require well-equipped labs and experienced staff, which is lagging in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of London,
for instance
, is the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in the UK,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
lab for coding.
Moreover
, as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have nominal fees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot afford such a high-tech infrastructure,
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to the latest trends and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive in the corporate world.

Secondly
, since the teaching staff is underpaid in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
consequently
, they are not motivated to study the latest technological trends and pass it on to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after completing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a job with traditional concepts in their minds,
hence
they struggle to understand the latest technical terms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the industry.
For example
, Google has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a campus connect program in association with few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in the US, and they have made this as mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pass these modules, in order to be eligible for a job in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Furthermore
, since the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
during their academic study focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the defined syllabus, in order to pass the exams and attain the degree,
as a result
, they do not gain practical knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
undergo hardships to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.

To conclude
, the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system cannot catch with the lightning-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
changing technological trends. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses on the basic concepts which are not sufficient for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to become a successful professional engineer.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay The qualities and skills that a person requires to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or other academic institutions. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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