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The pros and cons for the children of watching TV

The pros and cons for the children of watching TV dKGP
Watching TV is a way for us to connect with the world. We can have a lot of information and have a good time by watching TV than dealing with harmful habits. Of course we need to be able to determine what programs to watch and when to stop especially for children. Because shows that are not appropriate for children can have a negative impact on their minds and their behavior. Just as there are pros and cons to everything, there are advantages and disadvantages of watching TV. I would like to mention the advantages of watching TV. Television can be a good way to introduce the world to children. In our busy days, television is an easy and cheap source of entertainment. By watching some shows, channels in foreign languages can help to learn about things such as letters, numbers and words and to spend their time meaningfully. We can also meet children who are stressed because they have problems at home or their parents are divorced. At times like that feel-good shows for children help them to overcome stress at least. Eke, some shows teach children about different people, cultures, places and other part of world we live in. As for the disadvantages, initially watching TV in excess of the norm has a negative impact on their health. Some experts believe that long hours of watching screens interferes with the child’s speech and as watching TV tends to not involve any physical activity and long hours of screen time can lead to childhood obesity. If children would rather watching TV than playing with friends, it may impact their social development. In my view, reading a book, playing with their friends are more beneficial for them. At the time some say that it is good for children not to watch TV, I would rather watch some programs or shows that are suitable for them than restricting them watching TV.
Watching TV is a way for us to connect with the world. We can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good


time by watching TV than dealing with harmful habits. Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, we".
course we
need to be able to determine what

programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and when to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that are not appropriate for

children can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their minds and their behavior.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as there are pros and cons to everything, there are advantages and disadvantages of watching TV. I

would like to mention the advantages of watching TV. Television can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to introduce the world

to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In our busy days, television is an easy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
source of entertainment. By watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, channels in foreign languages can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to learn about things such as letters, numbers and words and

to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
meaningfully
.

We can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have problems at home or their parents
are divorced
. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
like that feel-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
at least. Eke,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, cultures, places and other part of world we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

As for the disadvantages,
initially
watching TV in excess of the norm has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their health.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that long hours of watching screens interferes with the child’s speech and as watching

TV tends to not involve any physical activity and long hours of screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can lead to childhood obesity. If

children would
rather
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "watch"
watching
TV than playing with friends, it may impact their social development.

In my view, reading a book, playing with their friends are more beneficial for them. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say

that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, I would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that are suitable

for them than restricting them watching TV.
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IELTS essay The pros and cons for the children of watching TV

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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