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Some people believe that government is responsible for disadvantaged people like jobless and homeless. Do you agre or disagree?

Some people believe that government is responsible for disadvantaged people like jobless and homeless. Do you agre or disagree? npQK
Nowadays in several countries have a lot of homeless and unemployed people. Severals people think that government should care about their nation's lives. Ii completely agree with this statement because the government's rules and plans sometimes not affect people's lives. It is certainly true that in every country has unemployed workers and who needs to a home. That's why the government responsible for creating a lot of factories, buildings, and shopping centers to decrease who don't have a home or a job to work, If government to care about everyone, it will be greate work to less the homeless and jobless and an addition to improve their country, If everyone works in a country it gives for them a lot of useful things. On the other hand, for government it is difficult to concern about people at the same time, If the government gives attention only for their nation they may lose focus about peace. They should set contact with other countries and it brings from other country different conditions. But the government should look after about the nation more. In conclusion, I want to say governments have a lot of sufficient funds to improve the life of people.
Nowadays in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of homeless and unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Severals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should care about their nation's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Ii completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and plans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

It is
certainly
true that in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has unemployed workers and who needs to a home. That's why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
responsible for creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of factories, buildings, and shopping centers to decrease who don't have a home or a job to work, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to care about everyone, it will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
greate
work to less the homeless and jobless and an addition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, If everyone works in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it gives for them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of useful things.

On the other hand
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
it is difficult to concern about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the same time, If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
gives attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their nation they may lose focus about peace. They should set contact with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it brings from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
conditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should look after about the nation more.

In conclusion
, I want to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of sufficient funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that government is responsible for disadvantaged people like jobless and homeless. Do you agre or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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