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The professor revises the idea presented in the passage that there are several doubts about the beehive-like fossil structures found in Arizona to be bee nests and refutes each of the points made in the reading.

The professor revises the idea presented in the passage that there are several doubts about the beehive-like fossil structures found in Arizona to be bee nests and refutes each of the points made in the reading. WyGqN
The professor revises the idea presented in the passage that there are several doubts about the beehive-like fossil structures found in Arizona to be bee nests and refutes each of the points made in the reading. First of all, the author states that the fossils of actual bees date to 200 million years ago have never been found. The professor confirms this statement, but she explains this fact does not mean that bees did not exist at that time. She clarifies that bees need the resin, which is a sticky liquid produced in special trees, to be preserved. Due to the fact that these trees were very rare, it could have been very hard for bees to remain preserved and turn into fossils. So, the first theory does not hold true due to the lack of compelling evidence. Secondly, according to the text, 200 million years ago, flowering plants did not exist. Since bees have a mutual relationship with flowering plants, they did not exist, too. The professor asserts that bees could have been feeding on non-flowering plants like ferns before the evolution of flowering plants and changed their food after the advent of them. Therefore, the second theory has some deficiencies regarding the main point of the passage. Finally, the professor acknowledges that the fossilized structures lack the spiral pattern of modern beehives’ caps, but she holds this view that chemical analysis proves that the structures are bee nests. This is because there is a special waterproofing material in the fossils that are found in the modern nests, too. Thus the third theory is not convincing as well.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
revises the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
presented in the passage that there are several doubts about the beehive-like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
structures found in Arizona to be bee nests and refutes each of the points made in the reading.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the author states that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossils
of actual bees date to 200 million years ago have never
been found
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
confirms this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
this fact does not mean that bees did not exist at that time. She clarifies that bees need the resin, which is a sticky liquid produced in special trees, to
be preserved
. Due to the fact that these trees were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rare, it could have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for bees to remain preserved and turn into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossils
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
first
theory does not hold true due to the lack of compelling evidence.

Secondly
, according to the text, 200 million years ago, flowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
did not exist. Since bees have a mutual relationship with flowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
, they did not exist, too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
asserts that bees could have been feeding on non-flowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
like ferns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the evolution of flowering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their food after the advent of them.
Therefore
, the second theory has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deficiencies regarding the main point of the passage.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
acknowledges that the fossilized structures lack the spiral pattern of modern beehives’ caps,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she holds this view that chemical analysis proves that the structures are bee nests. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a special waterproofing material in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossils
that
are found
in the modern nests, too.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the third theory is not convincing
as well
.
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IELTS essay The professor revises the idea presented in the passage that there are several doubts about the beehive-like fossil structures found in Arizona to be bee nests and refutes each of the points made in the reading.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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