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The advanced medical technology has a responsibility to human’s life expectancy. Do you think it is a blessing or a curse?

The advanced medical technology has a responsibility to human’s life expectancy. Do you think it is a blessing or a curse? yXg7V
With the advancement in medical technology life expectancy has significantly increased. In developed nation average life expectancy has dramatically improved. Furthermore, we have found cure of almost all the diseases and many of the dreadful diseases which are non-curable earlier can now be treated easily. This raises a potent question is this a blessing or a curse? . In my opinion, advanced medical technology has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. Firstly, it is an undeniable fact medical technology is considered to be the biggest boon for our society. We are blessed with advance tools and technologies and the researchers which are constantly working to find cure for epidemic diseases. Additionally, according to a survey conducted by a prestigious organization it is identified that since the last decade life expectancy has improved on average of 10 years. We now have cure to cancer and almost many diseases which are impossible to cure earlier. Secondly, proponents on the other hand argues that since, the average life expectancy has increased we now have more people to feed and more retired and old people to take care of. This phenomenon has altered our social system and now we are overcrowded with people which are difficult to manage. Thus, according to them it is a curse that people nowadays are living longer. Hence, in conclusion, the foregoing discussion will propounds to the view that medical advancement is a true blessing to our society we now can take care of our well-being without any troubles. Thanks, to medical technology we can now live longer and much healthier.
With the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy has
significantly
increased. In developed nation average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy has
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Furthermore
, we have found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
of almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the dreadful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which are non-curable earlier can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
be treated
easily
. This raises a potent question is this a blessing or a curse?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In my opinion, advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly
, it is an undeniable fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is considered
to be the biggest boon for our society. We
are blessed
with advance tools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and the researchers which are
constantly
working to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
for epidemic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
Additionally
, according to a survey conducted by a prestigious organization it
is identified
that since the last decade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
on average of 10 years. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
to cancer and almost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which are impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
earlier.

Secondly
, proponents
on the other hand
argues that since, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy has increased we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feed and more retired and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take care of. This phenomenon has altered our social system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
we
are overcrowded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which are difficult to manage.
Thus
, according to them it is a curse that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are living longer.

Hence
,
in conclusion
, the foregoing discussion will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "propound"
propounds
to the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
advancement is a true blessing to our society we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
can take care of our well-being without any troubles. Thanks, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer and much healthier.
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IELTS essay The advanced medical technology has a responsibility to human’s life expectancy. Do you think it is a blessing or a curse?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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