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the production of peaches

the production of peaches r1r0k

The linear process depicts the process of planting peaches and three products are produced from fresh peaches. Overall, the process consists of multiple stages, commencing with growing peaches and ending with three different products being produced from fresh peaches including canned peaches, packaged peaches and peaches for export. The first step in growing up peaches starts when the weather has low temperature which reach appropriate at 10-14 Celsius degrees. After three months, chemicals including insecticides or pesticides will be sprayed onto land and trees to prevent harmful bugs. Following this, peaches will be reached to maturity which weighed at 300 grams and turned into red color and fresh peaches will be harvested.

The linear process depicts the process of planting peaches and three products are produced
 from fresh peaches.

Overall
, the process consists of multiple stages, commencing with growing peaches and ending with three This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:various
different
 products being produced
 from fresh peaches including canned peaches, packaged peaches and peaches for export.

The first
 step in growing up peaches This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiates
starts
 when the weather has low temperature which reach appropriate at 10-14 Celsius degrees. After three months, chemicals including insecticides or pesticides will be sprayed
 onto land and trees to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :preclude
prevent
 harmful bugs. Following this, peaches will be reached
 to maturity which weighed at 300 grams and turned into red color and fresh peaches will be harvested
. 

IELTS essay the production of peaches

Essay

American English

3 paragraphs

112 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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