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how do you think about a large and impressive building?

how do you think about a large and impressive building? 11g3X
Nowadays, lots of large and impressive buildings are constructed in many countries. Nevertheless, the government also makes sure that there are enough schools and hospitals for their citizens. In my opinion, the government should spend more money improving schools and hospitals. First, large and impressive buildings can contribute to a city in several different ways. For example, Landmark 81 is the highest building in Vietnam with 81 floors. It is one of the symbols for Vietnam's development. Secondly, unusual buildings can attract tourists and bring more income to local people such as the Eiffel Tower, the Pisa Tower. These buildings can hold events such as concerts, exhibitions and attract more tourists. Turning to the importance of improving schools and hospitals. The government must make sure that their people are looked after. High quality schools and hospitals improve people's lives. Education and medicine are basic human's needs. In other words, if citizens don't have enough healthcare, they can't work and serve their country. It makes the country increasingly downwark. Moreover, when qualified education is provided, the rate of literacy becomes higher. People have a chance to get well-paid jobs. In conclusion, I think the government should spend more money improving modern schools and hospitals. Nevertheless, they also ensure that they have enough large and impressive buildings to look after the global status of their country.
Nowadays, lots of large and impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are constructed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
for their citizens. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more money improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and hospitals.

First
, large and impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can contribute to a city in several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
For example
, Landmark 81 is the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in Vietnam with 81 floors. It is one of the symbols for Vietnam's development.
Secondly
, unusual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can attract tourists and bring more income to local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as the Eiffel Tower, the Pisa Tower. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can hold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as concerts, exhibitions and attract more tourists.

Turning to the importance of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are looked
after. High quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Education and medicine are basic
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human needs"?
human's needs
.
In other words
, if citizens don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
healthcare, they can't work and serve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
increasingly
Possible spelling mistake found.
downwark
.
Moreover
, when qualified education
is provided
, the rate of literacy becomes higher.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid jobs.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more money improving modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
.
Nevertheless
, they
also
ensure that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
large and impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
to look after the global status of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay how do you think about a large and impressive building?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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