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ATHLETES MAKE GOOD ROLE MODELS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

ATHLETES MAKE GOOD ROLE MODELS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE 06Pbl
In modern life, with the support of society, human especially the young people take a chance to connect with influencers who are famous and inspiring. They can be singers, players, directors, . . . Some young people tend to learn or copy everything influencers did without knowing that it is true or right. They feel to be on trends and keep going. We all know that it doesn't happen with all of them, but before judging anything, we need to consider for many overall aspects. In my opinion, Professional athletes make good role models for young people. Because of two following reasons: First, they have a healthy life to learn. If you search for the internet, you will know how importance of daily meals affects their own muscles, body, and skills. So, they take a meal with no fat, low carbs, high protein, vitamin, . . . and always have a guilder to keep balance. I think it is wonderful. Because nowadays, most people use junk food as the main meal to cut time, but it is not permit for qualified safety. For me, when I see an athlete with a healthy body, I admire he/she and try to get it day by setting meals or doing exercise. I know that It is not just getting a beautiful body; it is also for my heath. Secondly, it is not easy to become a professional athlete. They have to be passionate and determinate which we need to over difficulty situation and reach for own dreams. An athlete is often injured as legs broken, arms broken, and more. Some of them are safety, but the others endanger for their lives. But finally, they still choose the way to become a professional athlete. I appreciate it. It can not negate that professional athletes are a good model for young people. But we may remember that they are professional athletes with strength and skills, and we just a normal people. So, before you let someone be a model, he/she should be definitely suitable for you.
In modern life, with the support of society, human
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a chance to connect with influencers who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and inspiring. They can be singers, players, directors
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, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to learn or copy everything influencers did without knowing that it is true or right. They feel to be on trends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going. We all know that it doesn't happen with all of them,
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
judging anything, we need to consider for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
overall
aspects.

In my opinion,
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Professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role models for
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of two following reasons:

First
, they have a healthy life to learn. If you search for the internet, you will know how importance of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
affects their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
muscles, body, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, low carbs, high protein, vitamin
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
always have a guilder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
balance. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is wonderful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
nowadays, most
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
junk food as the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not permit for qualified safety. For me, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
with a healthy body, I admire he/she and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it day by setting
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meals
or doing exercise. I know that It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
body; it is
also
for my heath.

Secondly
, it is not easy to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be passionate and determinate which we need to over difficulty situation and reach for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams. An
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athlete
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
injured as legs broken, arms broken, and more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are safety,
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but
the others endanger for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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But
finally
, they
still
choose the way to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
. I appreciate it.

It can not negate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
model for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we may remember that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
with strength and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a normal
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people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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before
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
someone be a model, he/she should be definitely suitable for you.
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IELTS essay ATHLETES MAKE GOOD ROLE MODELS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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