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The process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine

The process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine GrN7L
The overall process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine comprises of eight consecutive steps. First the raw materials such as coconuts, sunflower seeds and groundnuts are collected from the various agricultural fields across different places. Then the collected raw materials are transported using cargo ships to the silos, where it is stored. From the silos, it undergoes crushing and milling process where the larger pieces of raw materials are broken down into smaller pieces. After that, it passes through the pressing section, here these smaller chunks of raw materials are pressed hard to extract oil from it. The extracted oils have some impurities which are filtered out in the filtering section. The filtered oil is furthermore passed to the steaming process where the oil is boiled at high temperatures for several hours. The oils are segregated as coconut, sunflower and refined oils. The heated oils are allowed to cool down. Later, the end-product from the steaming process is packed in various ways such as bottles, cans and tins. These packaged oils are then loaded into the trucks to transport them from the manufacturing factory to the supermarket/shops, where it is available to everyone to buy.
The
overall
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process
of producing edible
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oils
and fats, and margarine
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
eight consecutive steps.
First
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
such as coconuts, sunflower seeds and groundnuts
are collected
from the various agricultural fields across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places.

Then the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are transported
using cargo ships to the silos, where it
is stored
. From the silos, it undergoes crushing and milling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
where the larger pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are broken
down into smaller pieces. After that, it passes through the pressing section, here these smaller chunks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are pressed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to extract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
from it.

The extracted
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oils
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impurities which
are filtered
out in the filtering section.

The filtered
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oil
is
furthermore
passed to the steaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is boiled
at high temperatures for several hours.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
are segregated
as coconut, sunflower and refined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
heated
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oils
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to cool down. Later, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-product from the steaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is packed
in various ways such as bottles, cans and tins.

These packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
are then loaded into the trucks to transport them from the manufacturing factory to the supermarket/shops, where it is available to everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
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IELTS essay The process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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