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People are spending more on travel today than in the past. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

People are spending more on travel today than in the past. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? 7Wrab
In recent decades, the issue that people are paying more on travel these days has been a subject of controversy. Although there are a number of people who claim travelling causes disadvantages, it is a more persuasive argument that taking tríp brings benefits that obviously outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, there is a wide belief that spending more on touring causes adverse impacts on people’s lives for a couple of reasons. Initially, it is clear that having too much desire on travelling can badly make one person gradually ignore their responsibility to work and their livelihood. Indeed, paying excessive attention and money to take expeditions steadily equips people with tedious and exhausted feelings when facing real responsibilities and work assignments. In addition, evidently, overspending on touring is not as practical as saving money in order to improvise in unforeseen circumstances. To demonstrate, provided that one person needs to take urgent surgical procedures according to health problems, which requires a huge amount of money, having an enough backup source of saved property instead of using for travelling is essential. On the other hand, it is irrefutable that allocating time and money on touring brings benefits for people in different ways. To begin with, the action of travelling contributes considerably to the progress of the economies of countries, in which tourism accounts for an important sector. Countries which have an enormous tourism industry, for instance, often have a strong economy which provides better services for and benefits for the residents in a variety of aspects, especially health and education. On top of that, apparently, only by spending time travelling are people allowed to release stress, which leads to a more energetic state of mind that will encourage them to perform better as well as obtain greater achievements. To be more specific, according to a recent survey, a large proportion of office workers who often experience pressure during work time have a tendency to take trips in order to refresh themselves and prepare for their work henceforward. To sum up, while having more trips could pose some drawbacks, it is undeniable that this brings greater benefits for people which evidently outweigh those disadvantages.
In recent decades, the issue that
people
are paying more on travel these days has been a subject of controversy. Although there are a number of
people
who claim
travelling
causes disadvantages, it is a more persuasive argument that taking
tríp
brings
benefits
that
obviously
outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, there is a wide belief that spending more on touring causes adverse impacts on
people’s
lives
for a couple of reasons.
Initially
, it is
clear
that having too much desire on
travelling
can
badly
make
one person
gradually
ignore
their responsibility to
work
and their livelihood.
Indeed
, paying excessive attention and
money
to take expeditions
steadily
equips
people
with tedious and exhausted feelings when facing real responsibilities and
work
assignments.
In addition
,
evidently
, overspending on touring is not as practical as saving
money
in order to improvise in unforeseen circumstances. To demonstrate, provided that one person needs to take urgent surgical procedures according to health problems, which requires a huge amount of
money
, having an
enough
backup source of saved property
instead
of using for
travelling
is essential.

On the other hand
, it is irrefutable that allocating time and
money
on touring brings
benefits
for
people
in
different
ways. To
begin
with, the action of
travelling
contributes
considerably
to the progress of the economies of countries, in which tourism accounts for an
important
sector. Countries which have an enormous tourism industry,
for instance
,
often
have a strong economy which provides better services for and
benefits
for the residents in a variety of aspects,
especially
health and education.
On top of that
,
apparently
,
only
by spending time
travelling
are
people
allowed
to release
stress
, which leads to a more energetic state of mind that will encourage them to perform better
as well
as obtain greater achievements. To be more specific, according to a recent survey, a large proportion of office workers who
often
experience pressure during
work
time have a tendency to take trips in order to refresh themselves and prepare for their
work
henceforward.

To sum up, while having more trips could pose
some
drawbacks, it is undeniable that this brings greater
benefits
for
people
which
evidently
outweigh those disadvantages.
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IELTS essay People are spending more on travel today than in the past. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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