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The process illustrates how milk, cream, cheese and butter are produced and packaged for sale to costumers.

The process illustrates how milk, cream, cheese and butter are produced and packaged for sale to costumers. mXxwO
The process illustrates how milk, cream, cheese and butter are produced and packaged for sale to costumers. Overall, this is a man-made linear process with eight main stages that starts with cows grazing and finishes with the sale of dairy products in the supermarket and shops. First of all, cows are fed in the fields and then they are taken to a milking machine twice a day. Secondly, milk is cooled in refrigeration storage. Next, milk is transported to Dairy through a tanker. In the last four stages, once the milk is delivered to the Dairy, it is pastuerized in order to become various dairy products such as cheese, cream and butter. Finally, as soon as the milk and dairy products have been packaged, they are then sent out to supermarkets and shops where they are ready for purchase by consumers.
The process illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
, cream, cheese and butter
are produced
and

packaged for sale to costumers.

Overall
, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made linear process with eight main stages that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with

cows grazing and finishes with the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
products in the supermarket and

shops.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, cows
are fed
in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fields and
then they
are taken
to a milking

machine twice a day.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is cooled
in refrigeration storage.
Next
,

milk
is transported
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dairy
through a tanker.

In the last four stages, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
is delivered
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dairy
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
pastuerized
in

order to become various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
products such as cheese, cream and butter.

Finally
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
milk
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dairy
products have
been packaged
, they are

then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
out to supermarkets and shops where they are ready for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
by

consumers.

IELTS essay The process illustrates how milk, cream, cheese and butter are produced and packaged for sale to costumers.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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