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Write a paragraph of about 100-150 words about the following topic:“The importance of family in one’s life”

Write a paragraph of about 100-150 words about the following topic: “The importance of family in one’s life” KV81w
Only when we seperated from the warmth of our families did we realize that the significance of our treasured ones is paramount. It is likewise undeniable that having family by your sides is always an intergral part of the individual life without any exception. To begin with, when it comes to being a member of a family, we would receive immeasureable and unconditional love from our parents that no one out there in the society can. Particularly, when we’re ill, they would aid in getting a proper medical care and being with us until we recover, together with a variety of encouragements. Therefore, this results in the children’s sense of feeling of being nurtured, loved and guided to a great extent. Secondly, being included in a precious family gives us strength and courage especially whenever it comes to getting through obstacles or falling behind. Everyone will need a guidance to steer them in the right direction of life; family is the one that leads us without any expectations or benefits in turn, they give us advices wih honesty and trust. In the light of this, the offsprings have always oined their faith upon their beloved ones. Last but not least, the presence of family also includes in the process of educating children to accumulate adequate knowledge as well as to be well – being later on. To sum up, family is of paramount importance to every single person in every part of the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when we
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperated
from the warmth of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
did we realize that the significance of our treasured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is paramount. It is
likewise
undeniable that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
by your sides is always an
Possible spelling mistake found.
intergral
part of the individual life without any exception. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to being a member of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, we would receive
Possible spelling mistake found.
immeasureable
and unconditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from our parents that no one out there in the society can.
Particularly
, when we’re ill, they would aid in getting a proper medical care and being with us until we recover, together with a variety of encouragements.
Therefore
, this results in the children’s sense of feeling of
being nurtured
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and guided to a great extent.
Secondly
,
being included
in a precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gives us strength and courage
especially
whenever it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to getting through obstacles or falling behind. Everyone will need a guidance to steer them in the right direction of life;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the one that leads us without any expectations or benefits in turn, they give us advices
Possible spelling mistake found.
wih
honesty and trust. In the light of this, the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings have
always
Possible spelling mistake found.
oined
their faith upon their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
also
includes in the process of educating children to accumulate adequate knowledge
as well
as to be
A dash was used instead of a hyphen. Did you mean: "well-being".
well – being
later on. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is of paramount importance to every single person in every part of the world.
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IELTS essay Write a paragraph of about 100-150 words about the following topic: “The importance of family in one’s life”

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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