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The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. k52VO
The unbalance in human resource management is always an appealing topic. This problem is a consequence of the opposite between two main groups. Some earn high income and have to work for a long period while others are unemployed but have plenty of time and I personally believe this is a society’s issue. Long working hours are believed to cause health problems. In this modern day, employers are strictly enforced to work more by taking extra shifts to solve companies cutbacks. In the long term, their lives have been affected and damage the efficiency and productivity of companies. Some arguments point out that by taking heavy workloads, employers can ask for higher salaries, but it is scientifically proven that the human bodies need time to recover mentally and physically. There have been instances of suicide in Asian countries like Japan, South Korea or Singapore due to depression as a consequence of working with the excessive workload without taking a break. On the other hand, the unemployed are facing handouts and easily falling into crimes. These people are held in low-esteem and feel alienated from mainstream society. Not only reliant on the stage for poverty, having too much leisure time also leads the youth to commit crimes. In Vietnam, most of the young criminals who were jobless before usually get punished for taking drugs or stealing. Due to this fact, unemployment can become a consequence of many society problems in the future. The problem appears when some people who have too much work but earn a well-paid salary while others who face joblessness and plenty of leisure time, and it is clear to point out that both of them can delay the development of society.
The unbalance in human resource management is always an appealing topic. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is a consequence of the opposite between two main groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
earn high income and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work for a long period while others
are unemployed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and I
personally
believe this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society’s
issue.

Long working hours
are believed
to cause health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. In this modern day, employers are
strictly
enforced to work more by taking extra shifts to solve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
cutbacks. In the long term, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and damage the efficiency and productivity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
arguments point out that by taking heavy workloads, employers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
higher salaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
scientifically
proven that the human bodies need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to recover mentally and
physically
. There have been instances of suicide in Asian countries like Japan, South Korea or Singapore due to depression as a consequence of working with the excessive workload without taking a break.

On the other hand
, the unemployed are facing handouts and
easily
falling into crimes. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are held
in low-esteem and feel alienated from mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reliant on the stage for poverty, having too much leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
also
leads the youth to commit crimes. In Vietnam, most of the young criminals who were jobless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
punished for taking drugs or stealing. Due to this fact, unemployment can become a consequence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the future.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
appears when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have too much work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
earn a well-paid salary while others who face joblessness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to point out that both of them can delay the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay The problem with society today is that it is essentially unbalanced, with some people being paid huge salaries to work very long hours, whilst others do not have a job and have too much time on their hands. There is no middle ground. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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